IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#technology #people #viewpoints
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Some
people
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 hold a strong belief that cutting-edge devices
has
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have
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 brought
people
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communicate
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to communicate
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 with each other, but others say that it will keep us apart. From my observation, I suppose that modern
technology
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 can push us
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further
futher
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further
 apart On the one hand, I believe that when
people
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 hang out to shoot the breeze they can easily understand each other better
,
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apply
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 because they can see the emotions of
people
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 around.
Moreover
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, if
people
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 waste their
time
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 to enjoy the modern
technology
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, they can lose their relationships.
For example
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, nowadays, the young generation
spend
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spends
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 too much
time
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 on their
technology
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 to text and chat with
friend
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friends
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,
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as
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and as
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 a
result
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result,
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 the
youngster
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youngsters
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 will become insensitive toward family.
Last
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 but not least, when
people
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 reduce
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time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
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 to use
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
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phone
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phones
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 to enjoy outdoor activities or charity activities, it can help
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 communicate with more friends and have more good relationships.
On the other hand
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,
people
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use
Wrong verb form
using
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 cutting-edge devices to contact will become easy because they can talk
in
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apply
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everywhere and it will help
people
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 save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time
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. By the way,
instead
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 of having to go to coffee shops to meet each other,
people
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 can use their
phone
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phones
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 to chat with friends right at home,
this
Linking Words
 approach will help
young
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the young
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 generation save money in a reasonable way. In conclusion, I still have a strong belief that modern
technology
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 will have driven us apart and it can make the youngster have pooper communication skills.
Submitted by ieltswritingpractice2025 on

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task achievement
Try to develop each point more fully. For instance, elaborate on how technology might drive us apart or bring us together.
task achievement
Add more specific examples that illustrate your points and arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph links clearly to the previous one for smoother transitions.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction that outlines the essay's main points, and a conclusion that summarizes them effectively.
task achievement
The essay clearly discusses both viewpoints on the impact of modern technology.
coherence cohesion
The essay attempts a balanced discussion and gives a personal opinion.
task achievement
The use of examples, although general, shows an understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
What to do next:
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