IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows the changes in three differents areas of crime in Manchester city centre from 2003-2012

The chart below shows the changes in three differents areas of crime in Manchester city centre from 2003-2012
#changes #three #differents #areas #crime #manchester #city #centre
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The line graph demonstrates modifications in three various
field
Change to a plural noun
fields
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 of crime in Manchester middle of
city
Add an article
the city
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 between 2003 and 2012.   One striking feature is that
,
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apply
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the highest proportion is car theft . Robbery was lowest indication in the
last
Linking Words
 year . Most reduce observed
burglary
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burglaries
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 from
first
Change the article
the first
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 year to the end of period.   First of all ,all
kind
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kinds
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 of crime both increase and decrease apart from robbery . Robbery stayed stable from 2003 to 2012 and equal to approximately 520 people . Car theft increase from roughly 2300 to 2800 people over the period.  The sharpest decline was in burglary whole the time. Its indicator decreased from 3400 people to 1400 . In 2004 the highest proportion is
burglary
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burglaries
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 equal to approximately 3800.
Submitted by zeynalli.tarana on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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