The two maps below show an island. Before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.

The two maps below show an island. Before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of women jobless patterns in each country of the United
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
show examples
in 2013 and 2014. It
clearly seen
Add the auxiliary verb
is clearly seen
show examples
that
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
dropped in all provided countries,
excep
Correct your spelling
except
Scotland which
in contrast
Linking Words
faced an increase.
England is
Correct your spelling
England's
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
had been 6.8% by 2013.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Wales is
Correct your spelling
Wales's
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
was 5.4% in 2013,
however
Linking Words
, Wales saw a decrease from 5.4% in 2013 to 5% in 2014. In
this
Linking Words
graph
Add a comma
graph,
show examples
Scotland is
Correct your spelling
Scotland's
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
had been 6.7% than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
3 countries by 2014.
By
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
Northern Ireland experienced the most significant drop, from 5.6% in 2013 to 4.6% in 2014, making it the region with the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
in 2014. It shows that in Northern Ireland
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
had
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
immense
dilemma
Fix the agreement mistake
dilemmas
show examples
like
jobless
Add a missing verb
being jobless
show examples
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate with synonyms.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • island
  • before and after
  • construction
  • tourist facilities
  • maps
  • changes
  • comparison
  • description
  • implications
  • personal opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: