IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that
chlidern
Correct your spelling
children
care
Wrong verb form
cared
show examples
and
Change preposition
for and
show examples
raised
Add a missing verb
are raised
show examples
 is a
significat
Correct your spelling
significant
 factor
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 making
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
memburs
Correct your spelling
members
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that most of
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 are raised by their grandparents
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 the fact that their
parents
Use synonyms
 are
alawys
Correct your spelling
always
 busy on their jobs.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the current
economice
Correct your spelling
economic
 change, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 working to
ern
Correct your spelling
earn
show examples
 more
mony
Correct your spelling
money
,
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 other words, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mother and father working hard to
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ensure their
chlidern
Correct your spelling
children
 can
Add a missing verb
be raisde
show examples
raisde
Correct your spelling
raised
 in
graet cercumstansies
Correct your spelling
great circumstances
. In
addision
Correct your spelling
addition
, everyone
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 funds to
buying
Change the verb form
buy
show examples
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 or car and
also
Linking Words
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 in
saveside
Correct your spelling
save side
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
emergncy
Correct your spelling
emergency
 conditions.
For example
Linking Words
, the
survye
Correct your spelling
survey
 in 2023
showes
Correct your spelling
shows
 that the increase in
famliys
Correct your spelling
family
families
family's
 need of
finaicial
Correct your spelling
financial
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
.
Body paragraph 2
Aonther
Correct your spelling
Another
 point to consider is
grendparents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
 in
differnts
Correct your spelling
different
differents
 conditions
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 of raised their
grandchilderns
Correct your spelling
grandchildren
. It is
also
Linking Words
possidal
Correct your spelling
possible
 to say that they can allocate all day to teach kids
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
good values
such
Linking Words
 as
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
, confidence,
loylty
Correct your spelling
loyalty
 and
honest
Replace the word
honesty
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
grandparents
Add the comma(s)
grandparents,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
no doubt
encouregs
Correct your spelling
encourages
encourage
 their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 to enhance their
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
 jobs. For
instans
Correct your spelling
instance
, a study in the Sudan shows that 91%
kids
Change preposition
of kids
show examples
 learn crucial morels from their grandpas.
Conclusion
In conclusion,despite people having different views, I believe that
altough
Correct your spelling
although
 there is a many positive
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of raising
chlidern
Correct your spelling
children
 by their grandparents,
parents
Use synonyms
 should be taking care of their kids.

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structure
Your essay introduces the topic effectively, but there is room to enhance the logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. You can achieve this by clearly structuring your essay into distinct paragraphs for introduction, each main point, and conclusion.
expression
Some of your ideas are insightful; however, they could be more clearly expressed. Take time to fully elaborate on your points and make direct connections to the topic.
example
Work on providing more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. This will help strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
introduction
Your introduction does a good job of addressing the topic and setting the stage for your essay. It's clear and direct.
conclusion
The conclusion succinctly wraps up your thoughts and reinforces your main argument about the positive and negative aspects of grandparents raising grandchildren.
references
You included helpful references to studies and surveys, which adds credibility to your points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Generational gap
  • Cultural heritage
  • Primary caregivers
  • Modern parenting techniques
  • Family bonds
  • Emotional development
  • Social development
  • Role reversal
  • Physical demands
  • Mental health
  • Direct involvement
  • Missed milestones
  • Guilt or stress
  • Wisdom and patience
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