You are concerned about a playground in your local college. Write a letter to the college principal. In your letter: - express your concern on things in the playground that are not safe; - explain why it is important to fix them; - suggest any improvements that make playground safe for everyone.

#playground #college #concern #improvements

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Dear Principle, I am writing

this

Linking Words

to inform you about my concerns in your local college. Please review my concerns below as there are numerous

accident

Fix the agreement mistake

accidents

show examples

that

had

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

reported before.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I would like to notify you the swing sets in the

playground

Use synonyms

have some minor problems. One of the swing sets

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a broken seat and the other

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

loosen

Replace the word

loose

show examples

chain.

This

Linking Words

will

result

Add the preposition

result in

result from

show examples

children

Use synonyms

having to harm themselves

unknowlingly

Correct your spelling

unknowingly

Furthermore

Linking Words

couple

Change the article

a couple

show examples

of the steps on the stairs to the slide have some cracks on them.

This

Linking Words

will lead to

children

Use synonyms

tripping over;

hence

Linking Words

, injuring themselves.

Secondly

Linking Words

, I would like you to hire

some

Correct determiner usage

show examples

handyman to repair these problems.

This

Linking Words

is because

children

Use synonyms

can play on the

playground

Use synonyms

safely without parents to worry about them being injured.

In addition

Linking Words

, I would

also

Linking Words

suggest that to make a notice board to include rules on it. So that

children

Use synonyms

and parents have to abide

the

Change preposition

by the

show examples

terms of using the

playground

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

will ensure

children

Use synonyms

can play safely and respect the rules and

regulation

Fix the agreement mistake

regulations

show examples

of the

playground

Use synonyms

. Should you have any inquiries

Change preposition

about

show examples

my suggestion, feel free to give me

call

Add an article

a call

show examples

. Sincerely, Kim.

Submitted by kimtatt.tan97 on Wed Jan 15 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

suitable writing tone

Ensure consistency in tone. Consider addressing the principal as "Principal" instead of "Principle."

complete response

Provide more detailed suggestions for improvements, such as specific safety measures or equipment that could be added.

complete response

The letter clearly identifies safety issues in the playground and explains the potential consequences.

logical structure

There is a logical flow to the letter, moving from identification of problems to suggestions for solutions.

coherence cohesion

The letter includes effective use of transitions between concerns and suggestions, contributing to smooth coherence.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

192 words

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You are concerned about a playground in your local college. Write a letter to the college principal. In your letter: - express your concern on things in the playground that are not safe; - explain why it is important to fix them; - suggest any improvements that make playground safe for everyone.

As technology advances, travelling to space is likely to become an option for holidaymakers in the future. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages.

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. In the letter, you should: • Where you stayed • What the problems were • How they can fix your complaints

With growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small homes that don't have outdoor spaces. Is this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?