Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both this views and give your opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life

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Nowadays, experts argue that which behaviour can cause more progress in different environments like school and workplace. Some believe that

competition

Use synonyms

is necessary to achieve

this

Linking Words

goal,

while

Linking Words

others think that

coopration

Correct your spelling

cooperation

is more vital in

such

Linking Words

places. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views and try to draw a conclusion. Generally, most people think that friendly

competition

Use synonyms

can stimulate one’s

abmbition

Correct your spelling

ambition

ambitions

to do better in his or her position.

For instance

Linking Words

, employers often set some targets for their employees and rank them

at the end

Linking Words

of each month.

Following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, the company gives a certain amount of money

for

Change preposition

show examples

the first ten workers in the ranking. On

this

Linking Words

occasion, they will work better and follow the company’s goal with

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great effort.

At the end

Linking Words

of the month, the manufacturer has far more achievements and the workers are

also

Linking Words

satissfied

Correct your spelling

satisfied

with their increased income.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some people think that

competition

Use synonyms

is devastating in some environments. Take schools as an example. Teachers usually encourage the students to do their tasks in small groups to level up their

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

personality. They believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

competing for

score

Correct article usage

a score

show examples

distracts the pupils from the main points and it can

also

Linking Words

make some of them disappointed.

Conversely

Linking Words

, cooperation can make them more responsible and they will be more successful as an adult in the future society.

To sum up

Linking Words

, it is always

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

challenging to find a

principle

Correct your spelling

principal

show examples

for increasing

Change preposition

to increase

show examples

efficiency at work or even at academic places like schools.

Competition

Use synonyms

may cause great results in many jobs,

while

Linking Words

it can ruin

somone’s

Correct your spelling

someone’s

attitude at school. In my opinion, making a subtle balance between

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

competition

Use synonyms

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cooperation will be more effective in

such

Linking Words

situations.

This

Linking Words

can remind the participants that they are a family but they compete to level up the whole team.

Submitted by bahram.azizzade on Wed Jan 15 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance your coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied transitional words and phrases to create smooth connections between your ideas. This will allow your essay to flow more naturally from one paragraph to the next.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your main ideas are directly aligned with your examples. Strengthening the tie between your task response and specific examples will make your argument more compelling.

General Language

Take care of minor spelling or grammatical errors to maintain a polished and professional appearance throughout the essay.

Structure

The essay offers a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a well-defined framework for your discussion and opinion.

Task Achievement

You addressed both perspectives on the topic effectively, supporting each with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay consistently stays on topic and presents a balanced discussion, demonstrating a good understanding of the issue.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both this views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

All education (primary, secondary and further education) should be free to all people and paid and managed by the government. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

many parts of the world people are relying more and more on prepared food from grocery stores and restaurants because they are too busy to cook at home .this is bad because home cooked food is much better for us to what extend do you agree or disagree ?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?