People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
individuals
tend to believe that our modern century provides Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
much
more advantages compared to past ones and Rephrase
with many
the
Correct determiner usage
that
Use synonyms
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
individuals'
life
standards are significantly better nowadays.I definitely support Use synonyms
this
given statement.
Linking Words
To begin
with, we can’t ignore the fact that since technology improved massively in the Linking Words
last
decades our world has become a better place.100 years ago Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
have
lived in difficult situations and the main reason for Unnecessary verb
apply
that is
there were viral diseases that doctors couldn’t find logical solutionsLinking Words
.
Change preposition
to.
Moreover
, Linking Words
people
were dealing with enormous wars and the stress level was really hard for them to handle.Use synonyms
Due to
that, when we consider that Linking Words
these kind
of negative outcomes appeared in those days it is reasonable to think that the level of issues Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
individuals
face recently is much Use synonyms
more
less than the previous centuries.
Change the word
apply
Furthermore
, most of the nations improved their social facilities and increased their citizens' financial status.Linking Words
Thus
, Linking Words
people
can reach the hospitals easily when they get ill or when they get a disease because major developments have been made in the health system in recent years and the amount of Use synonyms
life
expectancy Use synonyms
have
gradually risen.Unlike past times, with the new investments made in transportation reaching Correct subject-verb agreement
has
to
other cities and countries have become much Change preposition
apply
comfortable.İn
order to that,Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable.İn
people
can save time with Use synonyms
this
development and explore other places without worrying.Linking Words
Also
, right now human beings can communicate with other Linking Words
individuals
Use synonyms
any
time with the help of smartphones and can be able to access information about the news happening worldwide.
İn conclusion, since new inventions and developments came up in these modern days I personally believe that the range of human Change preposition
at any
life
quality has developed and currently Use synonyms
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
are suffering in their daily Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by muratberkel on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To further enhance clarity, consider using more varied sentence structures and transitions to smoothly guide readers through your points.
Task Achievement
While the essay provides a complete response, including more specific examples would strengthen your argument and better illustrate the advancements in quality of life.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly states your position, setting a strong foundation for your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay is organized logically with separate paragraphs for each main idea, aiding the reader's understanding.
Coherence & Cohesion
You included a concise conclusion that reinforces your stance, effectively wrapping up your argument.