Some people think media should be allowed to publicize information on someone’s private life. Some others believe that media should be regulated in this regard. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answers and relevant examples.

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It is believed that the publication

about

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show examples

someone's private life is permitted by mass

media

Use synonyms

while

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others consider it should be restricted.

This

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essay will discuss both

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apply

show examples

views. First of all, the

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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of popularities and businessmen can be conveyed by

media

Use synonyms

workers

such

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as journalists and PR managers.

For instance

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, many actors give permission for the

informations

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information

pieces of information

show examples

of themselves.

Moreover

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, the mass

media

Use synonyms

empoyee's

Correct your spelling

employee's

salary is demanding from the updated, cutting-edge news.

As a result

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, it is a normal condition for society, because it is

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apply

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interesting and exciting.

On the other hand

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papparazi

Correct your spelling

paparazzi

should be

resctricted

Correct your spelling

restricted

due to

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lots of lying information.

Also

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such

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news

is leading

Wrong verb form

leads

show examples

to misunderstanding inside the family even if they are popularities.

Therefore

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, they will quarrel

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

after divorce which is one of the most crucial

issue

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issues

show examples

of all over the world. If the government limit the

media

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some issues (like divorce,

misunderstanding

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and misunderstanding

show examples

) will find the solution.

To sum up

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, the mass

media

Use synonyms

is one of the main

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

and the fastest way of broadcasting.

However

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, if it

will work

Wrong verb form

works

show examples

with the worst path

then

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community

Add an article

the community

a community

show examples

is occured more problems.

Alina Wed Jan 15 2025

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task response

Try to expand your introduction to provide a clearer preview of the main ideas you'll discuss. This will set a strong foundation for the rest of the essay.

task response

Although your main ideas are present, elaborating them further and providing more in-depth analysis would strengthen your argument and improve clarity.

task response

Work on providing more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic and improve the robustness of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Pay closer attention to logical connectors and transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay.

language use

There are some minor language inaccuracies present, such as typos and incorrect forms ('popularities' instead of 'celebrities'). Double-check these to maintain clarity and professionalism in your writing.

coherence cohesion

Some points could benefit from elaboration and explanation to clarify your position, especially when distinguishing between the different views.

task achievement

You have presented both views on the topic clearly, which shows a good understanding of the essay requirements.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively sums up your main thoughts, linking back to the essay question and providing closure.

task achievement

The introductory paragraph successfully introduces the topic and the contrast between the two views that you'll explore.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

189 words

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Some people think media should be allowed to publicize information on someone’s private life. Some others believe that media should be regulated in this regard. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answers and relevant examples.

Your opinion

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinio

These days, more people are going to university than in the past. They start work later in life and with higher qualifications. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

It is the responsibility of school to teach children good behaivour aside formal education. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?