Some people think media should be allowed to publicize information on someone’s private life. Some others believe that media should be regulated in this regard. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answers and relevant examples.
It is believed that the publication
about
someone's private life is permitted by mass Change preposition
of
media
, Use synonyms
while
others consider it should be restricted. Linking Words
This
essay will discuss both Linking Words
of
views.
First of all, the Change preposition
apply
life
of popularities and businessmen can be conveyed by Fix the agreement mistake
lives
media
workers Use synonyms
such
as journalists and PR managers. Linking Words
For instance
, many actors give permission for the Linking Words
informations
of themselves. Change the wording
information
pieces of information
Moreover
, the mass Linking Words
media
Use synonyms
empoyee's
salary is demanding from the updated, cutting-edge news. Correct your spelling
employee's
As a result
, it is a normal condition for society, because it is Linking Words
an
interesting and exciting.
Change the article
apply
On the other hand
, Linking Words
papparazi
should be Correct your spelling
paparazzi
resctricted
Correct your spelling
restricted
due to
lots of lying information. Linking Words
Also
, Linking Words
such
news Linking Words
is leading
to misunderstanding inside the family even if they are popularities. Wrong verb form
leads
Therefore
, they will quarrel Linking Words
and
after divorce which is one of the most crucial Correct word choice
apply
issue
of all over the world. If the government limit the Change to a plural noun
issues
media
some issues (like divorce, Use synonyms
misunderstanding
) will find the solution.
Correct word choice
and misunderstanding
To sum up
, the mass Linking Words
media
is one of the main Use synonyms
part
and the fastest way of broadcasting. Fix the agreement mistake
parts
However
, if it Linking Words
will work
with the worst path Wrong verb form
works
then
in Linking Words
community
is occured more problems.Add an article
the community
a community
Submitted by Alina
on
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task response
Try to expand your introduction to provide a clearer preview of the main ideas you'll discuss. This will set a strong foundation for the rest of the essay.
task response
Although your main ideas are present, elaborating them further and providing more in-depth analysis would strengthen your argument and improve clarity.
task response
Work on providing more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic and improve the robustness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay closer attention to logical connectors and transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay.
language use
There are some minor language inaccuracies present, such as typos and incorrect forms ('popularities' instead of 'celebrities'). Double-check these to maintain clarity and professionalism in your writing.
coherence cohesion
Some points could benefit from elaboration and explanation to clarify your position, especially when distinguishing between the different views.
task achievement
You have presented both views on the topic clearly, which shows a good understanding of the essay requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively sums up your main thoughts, linking back to the essay question and providing closure.
task achievement
The introductory paragraph successfully introduces the topic and the contrast between the two views that you'll explore.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?