IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that to lead a successful life, a university degree is important. Others believe that this is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #life #university
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Some
individuals
Use synonyms
 in our society support the view that in order to achieve success
people
Use synonyms
 should have to graduate from a
university
Use synonyms
.Others believe that
this
Linking Words
 statement is incorrect and situations about
this
Linking Words
 topic have been changed recently. On the one hand, since we are in the 21st Century most of the authorities tend to think that having a diploma from a
university
Use synonyms
 is a mandatory thing for being in a position that has a high
level
Use synonyms
 of reputation.
For instance
Linking Words
, working in jobs like medicine,engineering and chemistry requires a significant
level
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 of education
due to
Linking Words
 their importance in public.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in order to reach
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 enough
level
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 of information on those topics it is reasonable to expect a detailed
level
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 of knowledge from those
people
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 who
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to work in one of those jobs.The main reason for
that is
Linking Words
, in those
sectors
Add a comma
sectors,
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 workers are dealing with enormous
Use synonyms
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of stress during their time
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work and they must be prepared for the outcomes they would probably experience in that timeline.İn addition to that, universities can be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a place where those
individuals
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 could train and learn major skills about their course.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, recently there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 an upward trend
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the argument that
people
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 do not have to study in those programs to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valuable and precious
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 for that nation.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can start their own business with a small amount of budget without graduating and gradually try to improve that.
Thus
Linking Words
, without losing time
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the academic process they could fully concentrate on
their self
Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
show examples
.Nowadays, some of the richest
individuals
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 that we see on television have become popular
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 quitting
university
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 and focusing on their personal ideas.Because for them, it was the most logical way of getting rid of unnecessary things relying on their own potential. İn my personal opinion, since certain successful
individuals
Use synonyms
 that we see in public don't have a diploma or brilliant CV, I tend to believe that a
university
Use synonyms
 degree is not the most necessary source for an individual to reach their dreams.
Submitted by muratberkel on

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical progression by organizing ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences.
task achievement
Clarify ideas and ensure consistency throughout the essay to better convey your points.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that adequately address the topic.
task achievement
Explains both viewpoints and provides a personal opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • benchmark
  • evolving landscape
  • credential
  • vocational training
  • entrepreneurship
  • digital literacy
  • autodidact
  • innovative approaches
  • skill set
  • networking
  • lifelong learning
  • meritocracy
  • practical experience
  • self-taught
  • upskilling
  • resilience
  • adaptive learning
  • critical thinking
  • soft skills
  • technological advancements
What to do next:
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