The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for maaking sugar from sugar cane. Sumrnarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevent
The diagram presents the protocol for producing
sugar
from Use synonyms
sugar
cane Use synonyms
step
by Use synonyms
step
. The manufacturing process has 7 steps.
Use synonyms
Overall
, the process starts with planting seeds, harvesting, crushing, purifying Linking Words
juice
, making Use synonyms
syrup
, centrifuging, and drying-cooling.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, 12 or 18 months wait for mature Linking Words
sugar
canes. Use synonyms
Then
the Linking Words
sugar
cane should harvested whether by industrial way or manual human hand. After the collection, the Use synonyms
sugar
cane is crushed Use synonyms
Linking Words
due
to collect Change preposition
apply
sugar
Use synonyms
juice
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, for the purifying Linking Words
juice
, the extract is put into a limestone filter. Next Use synonyms
step
, pure Use synonyms
juice
is carried to the evaporator Use synonyms
owing
to get Verb problem
apply
syrup
.
After that stage, the Use synonyms
syrup
is put into a centrifuge machine in order to collect pure Use synonyms
syrup
. Namely, in Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
step
, all the Use synonyms
sugar
crystals separate from Use synonyms
syrup
. Use synonyms
Finally
, the homogenous Linking Words
syrup
Use synonyms
put
into the bowl in order to dry and cool Add a missing verb
was put
syrup
, Use synonyms
besides
after the cooling time the Linking Words
syrup
Use synonyms
become
Wrong verb form
became
sugar
for collectionUse synonyms
Submitted by ozkansesen07 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, step, juice, syrup with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼