The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for maaking sugar from sugar cane. Sumrnarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevent

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for maaking sugar from sugar cane. Sumrnarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevent
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The diagram presents the protocol for producing
sugar
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from
sugar
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cane
step
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by
step
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. The manufacturing process has 7 steps.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process starts with planting seeds, harvesting, crushing, purifying
juice
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, making
syrup
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, centrifuging, and drying-cooling.
Firstly
Linking Words
, 12 or 18 months wait for mature
sugar
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canes.
Then
Linking Words
the
sugar
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cane should harvested whether by industrial way or manual human hand. After the collection, the
sugar
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cane is crushed
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
apply
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to collect
sugar
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juice
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, for the purifying
juice
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, the extract is put into a limestone filter. Next
step
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, pure
juice
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is carried to the evaporator
owing
Verb problem
apply
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to get
syrup
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. After that stage, the
syrup
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is put into a centrifuge machine in order to collect pure
syrup
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. Namely, in
this
Linking Words
step
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, all the
sugar
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crystals separate from
syrup
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the homogenous
syrup
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put
Add a missing verb
was put
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into the bowl in order to dry and cool
syrup
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,
besides
Linking Words
after the cooling time the
syrup
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become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
sugar
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for collection
Submitted by ozkansesen07 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, step, juice, syrup with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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