Many people today prefer to shop online rather than visiting physical stores. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping for individuals and society?
our contemporary world, many consumers have been purchasing online increasingly. Some
people
think that online shopping has brought many benefits, Use synonyms
while
others argue that it has drawbacks. Linking Words
This
essay will explore the upsides and downsides of online shopping.
On the one hand, shopping online has significantly facilitated the way we purchase positively. Linking Words
For example
, shopping online allows customers to do their shopping all day, benefiting busy Linking Words
people
to shop whenever they want. Another advantage of shopping is Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the availibility
availibility
of a wide Correct your spelling
availability
rang
of goods. To illustrate, many consumers can purchase multiple products, especially products that do not Correct your spelling
range
occur
in their country. Verb problem
exist
Moreover
, online shopping can significantly boost the economy of society by increasing the income Linking Words
resourses
of the country.
Correct your spelling
resources
On the other hand
, online shopping could mislead customers by providing them with unrealistic feedback to attract Linking Words
people
to buy their products Use synonyms
as well as
providing them Linking Words
poor
quality of goods. Change preposition
with poor
In addition
, shopping online can negatively harm local stores which leads to increasing losses of jobs. Linking Words
For example
, several stores cut down their workers Linking Words
due to
decreasing in purchasing. Linking Words
Finally
, some online shopping platforms offer dangerous items Linking Words
such
as weapons and medicines which could harm Linking Words
people
's health negatively
in conclusion, shopping online has significantly made Use synonyms
the
shopping easier for purchasers by unlimited goods and time Correct article usage
apply
as well as
improving the economy of the community. Linking Words
However
, it could damage both individuals and society alike Linking Words
through
providing Change preposition
by
the
unrealistic feedback, increasing unemployment, Correct article usage
apply
offering
dangerous items. If governments increase awareness campaigns about the use of shopping online appropriately, it will reduce the negative side of shopping online.Correct word choice
and offering
Submitted by bkalmutairi01 on
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task achievement
To enhance your essay further, consider elaborating on the examples you provide. For instance, how precisely does online shopping 'significantly boost the economy'? Adding specifics can make your arguments more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Work on providing a clearer logical flow between the positive and negative points discussed. Despite having an introduction and a conclusion, the transition between these sections could be smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings were present (e.g., 'boost the economy of society','many consumers can purchase multiple products'), though they don't significantly obstruct understanding. Proofreading for language accuracy could be helpful.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly frame the essay and provide a good overview of the points you will cover.
task achievement
You effectively present both the positives and negatives of online shopping, which shows balanced consideration of the topic.
task achievement
The essay generally stays focused on the topic, addressing the advantages and disadvantages relevantly.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?