Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries,

immigrants

Use synonyms

should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. do you agree or disagree? Over the past few years,the migration rate

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

increasing day by day. It is argued that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

immigrants

Use synonyms

must not behave as they used to.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they should alter their mindsets If they want to fit in the community and socialise. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

statement is partially worth

Change preposition

apply

show examples

believing

due to

Linking Words

the reasons I will discuss

further

Linking Words

To begin

Linking Words

with, most of the newcomers migrate from underdeveloped countries to the first-world nations. Honestly, as a person who is living in a Third-world country, our way of living consists of numerous obstacles to

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

as sophisticated as advanced nations.

For example

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

j walk is a common thing among people of Iran and they do it every day without any hesitation, in Japan, they consider it as disrespectful

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

, for

immigrants

Use synonyms

, rules can be different and stricter than in their hometown.

hence

Linking Words

, If they don’t learn those orders, they may get into serious trouble. A good example of

this

Linking Words

legitimate diversity is driving rules. In some advanced nations, incomers can easily get banned from driving for long periods of time for actions, which they just pay for their punishment in their birthplace.

Finally

Linking Words

, the good news for

immigrants

Use synonyms

is,

they

Correct word choice

that they

show examples

can keep the vast majority of their attitudes as long as they are not harmful or against

law

Correct article usage

the law

show examples

. In conclusion, I firmly believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

conducting new ways of acting is crucial for any immigrant because the adverse effects of not embracing the new condition can affect many aspects of their life.

ieltswriting345Thu Jan 16 2025

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task achievement

Clarify the position in the introduction. The statement 'In my opinion, this statement is partially worth of believing' could be more explicitly stated with reasons.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence by using more linking words or phrases to connect ideas smoothly, especially between paragraphs.

task achievement

Expand on the consequences for immigrants who do not adapt. This could enhance the completeness of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, contributing to coherence.

task achievement

The examples provided, such as jaywalking in Iran versus Japan, are relevant and effectively support your points.

task achievement

You have addressed both sides of the argument, showing balanced consideration of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

migration
integration
social cohesion
cultural clashes
original culture
diversity
identity loss
psychological distress
balanced approach
local customs
cultural identities

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Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

Plastic shopping bags are used widely and cause many environmental problems. Some people say they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Air transport is increasingly used to export fruit and vegetables to countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?