In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#world #people #money #appearance #happen #development

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Nowadays, it is a common

phenonmenon

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

that

people

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spend a quantity of money on their

apperance

Correct your spelling

appearance

for

Correct word choice

show examples

they attempt to look younger than their age. Actually, there are several reasons some

people

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make

decision

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decisions

show examples

this

Linking Words

. First of all, it reflects the

main stream

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mainstream

show examples

of social

aethetics

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aesthetics

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apply

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and its impact on

Correct article usage

the behaviors

show examples

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

people

Use synonyms

. Young appearance

ia rearded

Correct your spelling

is regarded

as a symbol of energy, passion, and positivity

amid

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among

show examples

the public, so some

people

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this

Linking Words

stream and become members of it.

In addition

Linking Words

for

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apply

show examples

those who haven't

establish

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established

show examples

stable values and

belifs

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beliefs

in their life,

eapecially

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especially

the younger generation,

they

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apply

show examples

choose to look younger for

the

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apply

show examples

soical

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social

identification and popularity

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show examples

the

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apply

show examples

campus, even

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if it

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is not necessary at all

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apply

show examples

so that they can make more friends. what's more, staying

the

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in the

show examples

best situation

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show examples

a young age is

persued

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pursued

show examples

because

people

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are in memory of their youth time, and they want to maintain it forever. I don't think it is a positive development,

eapecially

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especially

for young generations and

female

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females

show examples

. Some female extremely seek

for

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apply

show examples

a younger look, even beginning to do operations on their face and body, which do harm to both their physical and psychological health. For teenagers, the trend of staying younger can be at risk of

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apply

show examples

being manipulated by someone with

purpose

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a purpose

show examples

However

Linking Words

, it is not necessarily a wrong or terrible choice to stay young, only if it is pursued without hampering the health of

people

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Submitted by asllchkied on Fri Jan 17 2025

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task response

Ensure clarity and depth in your explanations. When discussing reasons or impacts, elaborate on each point to provide a deeper understanding.

coherence cohesion

Use transitions and linking words more effectively to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next. This enhances coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.

task response

You address both aspects of the question, discussing why people spend money on appearance and your opinion on whether it's positive or negative.

task response

You've identified some logical reasons why individuals may want to appear younger, touching on societal influences and personal motivations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

239 words

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In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages?

The government should pay for the course fees for everyone who wants to study at university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You accidentally damaged a book borrowed from the library. Write a letter to the librarian. - Apologize for the damage and explain how it happened. - Mention the details of the book (title, author, etc.). - Offer to pay for the damages or replace the book.

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?