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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many young people choose to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this decision

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Many youths prefer working and travelling after they have finished high school and before starting their study at university. There are several advantages
for
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
 choice
such
Linking Words
 as personal development with independence and exploring their interests.
However
Linking Words
, loss of academic momentum and financial issues can be
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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drawbacks that should not be overlooked. One major advantage of
this
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 is that
traveling
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travelling
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 or
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 for a
year
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 allows alumni to acquire significant skills on both personal and professional
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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, which help them deal with challenges and accelerate the improvement progress in their universal studies.
For example
Linking Words
, financial management and adapting to different environments, these skills often play a role in developing the personality, which leads to a better educational process. Another key benefit is that
traveling
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travelling
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 experience can help in exploring the potential
the
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of the
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 professional interests, which can help effectively in wisely making a decision
that is
Linking Words
 related to their advanced studies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the main disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 is that a
year
Use synonyms
 away from studying could lead to losing the academic concentration and acquisitional learning skills from previous educational study, leading to difficulty adapting to the life requirements at the university. Another disadvantage is that working and travelling usually need financial costs which in case there is mis-planning resulting in financial pressures and losing time without results.
For example
Linking Words
, the youth who spends more money in that
year
Use synonyms
 for unnecessary purposes
which
Correct your spelling
with
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 excessive debts. And I believe that. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
 the benefits of a
year
Use synonyms
 between finishing high school and starting university include developing persons, getting independence and the opportunity to explore interests, academic momentum loss and financial problems are equally important.

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coherence cohesion
For a higher score, strengthen the logical structure by ensuring a smoother flow between ideas. Consider using more linking words and phrases to connect your points effectively.
task achievement
To improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas, elaborate a bit more on each point and provide more detailed explanations. This will help in making your arguments clearer.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or details to illustrate your arguments better. This will help in demonstrating your full understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, setting and summarizing the discussion well.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally supported, contributing to a coherent discussion about the advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
The response addresses the task fully by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages, meeting the task achievement criteria.
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