IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #future
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The diagram illustrates the biofuel production called
of
Change preposition
apply
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ethanol.
Overall
Linking Words
, it's clear to see the process by a cycle
gragh
Correct your spelling
graph
, which
including
Replace the word
includes
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 the plants and trees
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
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 to
processing
Change the verb form
process
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 and make
to
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apply
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ethanol
then
Linking Words
 become
to
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apply
show examples
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
. In the
first,
Linking Words
the plants and trees
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 on the energy from sunlight and
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, they will be harvested and travel to pre-process. After pre-processing, the product will be taken to cellulose.
Next,
Linking Words
the cellulose product will join in the processing, and it will
be change
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be changed
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 to sugars. By
added
Wrong verb form
adding
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 microbes with
sugars product
Fix the agreement mistake
sugar products
show examples
 and
collection
Replace the word
collecting
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, the production
have
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has
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 been finished. In the end, the ethanol will be
use
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used
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 in transport
such
Linking Words
 as
car
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cars
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,
track
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tracks
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 and airplanes. And the biofuel will produce
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 when the machine
Add a missing verb
is opearing
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opearing
Correct your spelling
operating
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 will return to the
strating
Correct your spelling
starting
 point
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the cycle, to be a part of
energy
Add an article
the energy
show examples
 and join the
bioful
Correct your spelling
biofuel
 production next time.
Submitted by xueran6918 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, the essay should begin with a clear introduction of the process diagram. Explain the scope and what the diagram intends to illustrate before diving into the details.
coherence cohesion
Conclude the essay with a summary or observation about the importance of the process or its implications. This will help round out the response and provide closure.
coherence cohesion
Currently, the essay describes the process steps sequentially, which is good. However, it could benefit from more transition words and phrases to better connect ideas and improve the flow.
task achievement
While the main steps of the process are covered, ensure that each part of the cycle is clearly explained, especially the transformation from raw material (plants) to final product (biofuel) and how it fits in the cycle.
task achievement
Where relevant, include specific examples or applications of biofuel use beyond just general terms like cars and planes. This could be details about how biofuels are helping reduce carbon footprint, etc.
logical structure
The essay describes the biofuel production process in a logical sequence, correctly identifying key stages such as plant cultivation, harvesting, and conversion to ethanol.
supported main points
The concept of a cycle is well-illustrated, linking the stages of the process to form a complete loop from carbon dioxide to ethanol production and back to carbon dioxide emissions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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