You are temporarily moving to a new city for your job. You will be there for three months, and you would like to rent some accommodation for your stay. Write to an accommodation rental office. In your letter •Tell them how long you are staying •Describe the type of accommodation you would like •Explain what facilities you will need nearby

#city #job #three #months #rent #accommodation #office #•tell #•describe #type #•explain #facilities

Dear Sir. I am writing an email to rent accommodation. I will be coming to your city next week and staying there for three months. I want accommodation near the center city, near the bus stoped, and restaurants. Because I just alon so I need a small place, but the area has a window and it has lots of light, and it is a quiet place. I want

such

accommodation for my work request to reach many people, to introduce a new product. The benefits when staying near the bus stoped, are it will support me in organising work, and simply move to many other places. I have the habit of exercising in the morning, so I need the room to lose light and quiet. I want to enjoy dishes in your city, so my room is near restaurants. With all the above requirements, could you tell me about the price? Thank you in advance for your help. Sincerely. Ms Tam.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Fri May 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The letter somewhat achieves the task, but lacks adequate detail regarding the type of accommodation desired, and the explanations are not fully clear or expanded upon.

coherence cohesion

Consider using a more conventional greeting and closing, such as 'Dear [specific name or title]' and 'Yours faithfully/sincerely,' when addressing the recipient in a formal letter.

coherence cohesion

It is important to ensure that each paragraph presents a single clear idea. While there was an attempt to structure the letter, the ideas were not well-developed or distinct to each paragraph.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

161 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions c an you sug?
Student misbehavior in schools is a pervasive issue with multifaceted causes and requires comprehensive solutions to mitigate its impact on the learning environment. In this essay, I will delve into the root causes of this phenomenon and propose effective strategies to address it.
4.5
band
Some people believe that continue university after finish school is the best way to get a good job, some people prefer to work to get experience. Discuss both views and opinion
Most of people decide to study at the university because they believe that have opportunity to work at leading firm, while others prefer to opposite way for get experience. In my opinion, I prefer to continue in institute and I will examine both of view with this essay.
<4
band
You are studying at a college which has very limited sports and leisure facilities for students. Write a letter to the principal. In your letter: - Outline the situation. - Propose ways to improve this situation. - Request a meeting to discuss this.
The reason why I am addressing you is that this facilities not very limited sport and liesure should be and for us sleeping here should be comfortable and easy.
7.5
band
Government of many countries had to impose a lockdown to control the Coronavirus pandemic. What were the advantages and disadvantages of this lockdown? Give examples from your own experience
The COVID-19 pandemic has brought unprecedented changes to our lives, with quarantine measures being implemented worldwide. While there are significant advantages to these measures, there are also notable drawbacks that must be considered.
5
band
These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays electronic devices and the Internet play significant roles in our daily life. Many are of the opinion that this growing tendency considerable affects the quality of relationships between people. As far as I am concerned, I believe that the drawbacks of the impact that these gadgets has on humans connections have the edge over its potential positive aspects. This essay will analyze the pluses and minuses accociated with these developments and provide a logical conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions c an you sug?

Some people believe that continue university after finish school is the best way to get a good job, some people prefer to work to get experience. Discuss both views and opinion

You are studying at a college which has very limited sports and leisure facilities for students. Write a letter to the principal. In your letter: - Outline the situation. - Propose ways to improve this situation. - Request a meeting to discuss this.

Government of many countries had to impose a lockdown to control the Coronavirus pandemic. What were the advantages and disadvantages of this lockdown? Give examples from your own experience

These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?