In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantages of having en ageng population outweigh the disadvantages.
In some countries, citizens think
the
elder individuals Correct your spelling
that
are
extra responsibility Verb problem
have
for
governments and they Change preposition
to
causes
some problems Change the verb form
cause
to
Change preposition
apply
them
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
However
, they can provide many benefits in different areas. Linking Words
This
essay will discuss Linking Words
advantages
and disadvantages of Correct article usage
the advantages
this
Linking Words
disussion
.
First of all, Correct your spelling
discussion
the
elder people have more experience than younger ones in their Correct article usage
apply
lifes
in lots of areas. Correct your spelling
lives
Therefore
, when it comes to a job or another field that Linking Words
similar
to Add a missing verb
is similar
this
one, the elder individuals can show their Linking Words
hand-on
practices and pass Correct your spelling
hands-on
this
experience to them. Linking Words
On the other hand
, having Linking Words
a
Change the article
an
old aged
population brings some benefits to Correct word choice
elderly
healthcare
system of Add an article
the healthcare
Correct article usage
the goverrnment
goverrnment
. Correct your spelling
government
For instance
, by researching Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
diseas
that older Correct your spelling
disease
diseases
person
have, these results can contribute as Fix the agreement mistake
people
a knowledge
to Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
this
industry.
Linking Words
However
, these people are extra Linking Words
responsibility
for Replace the word
responsible
Correct article usage
the governmets
governmets
and they need some Correct your spelling
governments
government
fundatitions
from Correct your spelling
foundations
country
. By supporting Add an article
the country
Linking Words
this facilities
, it forces Change the determiner
this facility
these facilities
to
spend more money for nothing Correct pronoun usage
us to
rather
than education or Correct your spelling
other
another fields
. As an example, countries can invest in education for Replace the adjective
another field
other fields
better
future of children, but they Correct article usage
the better
wasting
Wrong verb form
waste
this
opportunity Linking Words
instead
of Linking Words
childrene
. Correct your spelling
children
Secondly
, generations of countries have been changed in plenty of ways. Linking Words
Due to
that, in Linking Words
a
daily Remove the article
apply
life
, these one are struggling to fit Use synonyms
in
society. Change preposition
into
Likewise
, Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
life
is going fast, Use synonyms
while
we try to do something they just interrupt us and they cannot catch the younger ones. Linking Words
Additionally
, they are not Linking Words
much
able to adapt Correct quantifier usage
apply
Linking Words
this
evolution.
In conclusion, these individuals are facing Change preposition
to this
with
plenty of challenges in Change preposition
apply
ther
Correct your spelling
their
her
Use synonyms
life
to catch the Fix the agreement mistake
lives
life
out there. So, Use synonyms
vital
point is not Add an article
the vital
giving
them a hard time in Change the verb form
to give
a
daily Remove the article
apply
life
and respect Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
in
the
society.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
Clarify your main argument more distinctly in the introduction. Instead of stating 'this essay will discuss,' consider presenting a clear thesis statement about whether you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by structuring the paragraphs more clearly with topic sentences that reflect the main idea of each paragraph. This will help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your ideas. You touched on healthcare systems and education, but more detailed examples can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay effectively identifies both sides of the argument, touching on the experience of the elderly and their contributions to the healthcare system.
coherence cohesion
You consistently maintain a logical flow by discussing advantages followed by disadvantages, which helps in setting a clear structure.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and provides a final thought on integrating elderly people into society.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...