IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Caring for children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

Raising children is vital in society because children’s development relies on effective parenting, which could affect their future contributions or achievements in society. Some people believe that
parents
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 should mandatorily receive proper programs to instil their perceptions on nurturing children in a better way.
However
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, I firmly disagree with
this
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 point, since every family or parent’s education or culture varies, one-fits-all is not feasible and
this
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 could lead to annoyance among
parents
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. First of all,
parents
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’ education and parenting styles come from different families and cultures, taking
courses
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 could merely effective among those who are well-educated since they are able to transfer from knowledge to action.
For example
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, some
courses
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 held online are open for
parents
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, but participants tend to be knowledgeable
parents
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 who are capable of sharing and exchanging their experiences of parenting.
Parents
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 who are less educated often ignore information on fostering parenting and are reluctant to learn academic parenting knowledge. Forcing them to take
courses
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 could lead to frustration and result in negative effects.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 parenting
courses
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 can offer useful skills, experiences, and even hands-on activities to deepen
parents
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’ parenting skills in practical ways, those
courses
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 cannot be easily internalized in
parents
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' minds and change their actions on nurturing children since actions take time to practice and make consistent adjustments. Effective implementation of parenting requires a lot of effort and dedication to make a change in their parenting actions. It is really challenging that
parents
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 need to alter their attitudes and behaviours to adapt to another parenting style,
not to mention
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 that all
parents
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 are mandatory to receive training or take lessons. In summary, despite learning professional parenting approaches are beneficial, asking all
parents
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 to take parenting methods is not possible since
parents
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’ perceptions are varied and time-consuming. Encouraging
parents
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 to adapt through gentle guidance may be a more viable approach.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea and stays focused on it. Sometimes your points are a bit mixed up.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples or reasons to support your ideas. It helps the reader understand your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to help guide your reader through your essay.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion and reasoned it well, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, summarizing your views clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • care
  • children
  • society
  • important
  • parents
  • training
  • skills
  • understand
  • needs
  • situations
  • behavior
  • safety
  • relationship
  • trust
  • love
  • outcomes
  • healthy
  • successful
  • future
What to do next:
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