It is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#idea #people #age

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If still possible, the old

people

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are recommended to keep working until they are incapable of it.

Besides

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, I strongly agree with

this

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statement because of some reasons like keeping both their physical and mental

health

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. In

this

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essay, I will explain both reasons with the relevant examples.

Firstly

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, continuing their job can help maintain their body

health

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. Some jobs

such

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as gardener,

as well as

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driver, are still can be done by older

people

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. They will keep on moving and walking in order to do those activities.

For example

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, a recent study proves that

people

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who are still working in their old age have fewer

health

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problems and live longer as well.

Secondly

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, their mental

health

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will

also

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stay positive.

Instead

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of just staying at home without nobody talking with them, they can meet and chat with plenty of

people

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at work.

This

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treat will keep their mind and memories healthy.

For instance

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, a recent study says that dementia diseases can be cured by having a lot of conversations with friends and family. In conclusion, there are several benefits from continuing the old

people

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's jobs

such

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as improving mental and physical

health

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. I believe some jobs will still fit them like the gardener, the driver, and the cleaning service. It will

also

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be useless if they just stop their activities and stay at home because no one in their house will accompany or monitor them. Their friends at work can help them not only just by being friends but

also

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their guardians.

Submitted by dorima on Sat Jan 18 2025

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, try to organize your ideas more clearly, perhaps by clearly separating paragraphs for each main reason and ensuring each point flows logically to the next. Using linking phrases can help to signpost your argument more clearly.

task achievement

Ensure each point is fully developed and clear. In some instances, your ideas could be expanded further to provide a deeper understanding of the points raised, and more specific examples could strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Be mindful of minor grammatical errors, as they can sometimes impact clarity, but remember, these small inaccuracies won't significantly affect your score if your overall ideas are clear.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frames your essay and makes your position clear from the beginning.

task achievement

You successfully identified and explained two main benefits of older people continuing work, which directly addresses the question prompt.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cognitive decline
Mental and emotional well-being
Social interaction
Financial stability
Sense of purpose
Self-worth
Physical health
Skill utilization
Experience
Flexible working hours
Generational gap
Elderly individuals
Retirement
Workplace
Economic contribution

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It is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Modern technology,such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

In some countries, birth rates are falling and experts say that by 2050 these countries will have far more adults aged 65 and over than children under 15. What problem might this cause in the future? Can anything be done to solve this issue?