IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way to measure someone’s success is to look at how much money that person has. • Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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I disagree with the statement that the best way to measure someone’s
success
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 is by looking at how much
money
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 they have.
While
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money
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 is often seen as an indicator of
success
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, there are many other important factors to consider.
Firstly
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,
success
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 can be defined in different ways. For some people,
success
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 means achieving their career goals,
while
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 for others it might involve maintaining strong relationships or contributing to their community.
For example
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, a teacher who inspires students may feel successful, even if they do not earn a high salary.
Similarly
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, someone who dedicates their life to charitable work might measure their
success
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 by the positive impact they have on others, not by their income.
Secondly
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,
money
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 is not always a reflection of a person's hard work or talent. Many successful individuals in fields like the arts, science, or social work may not earn large sums of
money
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. A scientist who discovers a cure for a disease may be considered highly successful, even though they may not become wealthy from their discovery. In conclusion, measuring
success
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 purely by the amount of
money
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 someone has ignores many other valuable aspects of life.
Success
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 should be about personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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, contributions to society, and achieving individual goals.

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by connecting ideas more explicitly between paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or real-life case studies to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that frame the argument effectively.
task achievement
Comprehensive response covering different facets of success beyond just financial gain.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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