Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funds from government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

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It is said that the majority of artists are not paid enough, and the governments should allocate
especial
Correct your spelling
special
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funds to support them. I absolutely agree with
this
Linking Words
idea, and in
this
Linking Words
essay, I will explain my statements. First and foremost, the
first
Correct word choice
apply
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reason for my support is that no matter how creative an artist is,
art
Use synonyms
can be understood differently by every individual, and it might not be the main interest of everyone.
This
Linking Words
is to say, individuals have different desires, and the traditions of their countries can impact
on
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apply
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their thoughts. So if a
country
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and its citizens,
for example
Linking Words
, are not interested in various paintings, the
country
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would not create exhibitions for the painters, and
as a result
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, the artists would not be able to sell their creations. It would
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
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the
Correct article usage
a
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lack
on
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of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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art
Use synonyms
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
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, and because of
this
Linking Words
reason, many potential creative people could lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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interest.
Moreover
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, I believe that
art
Use synonyms
is one of the most important values of any
country
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. If a
country
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would like to be known by others, it has to show its
art
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culture. In order to achieve
this
Linking Words
, the artists should attend international events, and show their paintings, or their music to promote the repetition of their countries. Unfortunately, with
the
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their
show examples
limited income, they might not be able to achieve
this
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. So in
this
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case, the governments should allocate enough grants to boost its repetition.
For instance
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, every year the Azerbaijani government spends almost 1 million dollars to motivate
art
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creators to represent the
country
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outside of it, and
as a result
Linking Words
, the Azerbaijani culture becomes more well-known day by day. In conclusion, spending extra money on
art
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sectors can lead the
country
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to be more famous, and give incentives to artist not to stop doing their passions.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on providing more variety in sentence structure to enhance readability and engagement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph directly supports your thesis to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Clarify complex sentences to avoid ambiguity or misinterpretation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear and well-structured argument.
Task Achievement
Good use of examples to support the main points, particularly the mention of the Azerbaijani government efforts.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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