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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantage and disadvantage of tourist who visits such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #advantage #tourist #visits
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In
this
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 modern era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
curiosity is increasing for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new places
such
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 as
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the Sahara desert and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Antartica
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
.
This
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 shift is increasing
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of development of the technology and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new travelling facilities.
This
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trend
Use synonyms
 has many benefits
such
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 as
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 can enjoy new exploration and
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can do some different things.
However
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,
this
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 contains some drawbacks for the visitors
such
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 as
this
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 can be dangerous for life and the
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
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 temperature can give rise to some serious health issues. To commence with, many people are travelling to the areas where situations are hard, but there are numerous merits of
this
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trend
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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,
this
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 option can increase the knowledge of the person and
this
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 can motivate him to
do
Verb problem
make
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 some new
invention
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inventions
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 about the place.
Secondly
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,
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this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
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 of
areas
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area
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 full of
floura
Correct your spelling
flowers
 and
fuana
Correct your spelling
fauna
 so visitors have a chance to meet the different species and
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can gather
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about some particular things.
For example
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, a recent study
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 Oxford University found that almost every tourist has a chance to meet two to three different bird species in rarely visited areas.
Conversely
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,
this
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trend
Use synonyms
 contains many demerits for tourists.
To begin
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 with, the first and foremost setback of visiting these places
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 that they can be dangerous for life as there are many harmful species present within the place and the weather conditions are
also
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 not stable in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 places.
Furthermore
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, the changing temperature can cause serious health concerns
such
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 as hey fever, skin allergies,
breathing
Correct word choice
and breathing
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 issues as
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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 is usually not adaptable to frequently changing climate.
For instance
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, a recent research
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 Toronto University declared that people who are visiting rare parts of Newfoundland had some breathing problems after coming back because of extreme cold levels.
To conclude
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, in
this
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 modern society,
public
Correct article usage
the public
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want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to explore more and more even with extreme weather conditions. The main merits of
this
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 shift
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 new inventions and
chance
Correct article usage
the chance
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 to meet different
nature
Replace the word
natural
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 varieties.
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Although the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 major drawbacks of
this
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trend
Use synonyms
 are harm to
life
Add an article
the life
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 of the visitors and serious health problems which can not be ignored.
Submitted by priyankapanwar251287 on

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task achievement
Try to avoid small grammatical errors, such as incorrect article usage and subject-verb agreement, to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Develop some points further to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional phrases consistently to ensure a smooth flow between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to structure the essay well.
task achievement
The essay showcases a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, supporting your task response.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph is focused on a specific point, contributing to a logical structure.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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