IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Since it is so easy to reach a large audience on the internet, people have to be exceptionally talented to become famous these days. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, proponents from a part of the world
cultivates
Change the verb form
cultivate
show examples
 the analogy of fostering immense talent in order to become popular and allure mass
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
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 on the platform of the internet.
Moreover
Linking Words
, my firm conviction lies in the affirmation of
this
Linking Words
 ideology and to back up my agreement; I believe, the reasons like
prominence
Add an article
the prominence
show examples
 of the
block
Use synonyms
culture
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 absurdly high levels of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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competition amongst the personalities trying to be famous these days
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 substantially
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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 on the internet. Embarking
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 discussion, within
past
Correct article usage
the past
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 few years, the practice of the
block
Use synonyms
culture
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 surging on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media sources which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 one of the most accessible
pathway
Change to a plural noun
pathways
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 to gain exceptionally unbelievable popularity
success
Correct word choice
and success
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
prevelance
Correct your spelling
prevalence
 of
this
Linking Words
 change
authorize
Change the verb form
authorizes
show examples
 the viewers to disown any creator in
matter
Add an article
a matter
the matter
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 of seconds if they are not glamorized with
expression
Add an article
an expression
the expression
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 of their talent or skills through the mode of their content.
Hence
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,
this
Linking Words
 disownment will not only
diminished
Wrong verb form
diminish
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 the reach of the popularity of the people but
also
Linking Words
 will perish their motivation to pursue their dream of becoming a
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
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 personnel within the community. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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instance, the survey published
from
Change preposition
in
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 a news article depicts that
due to
Linking Words
emergence
Correct article usage
the emergence
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 of the
block
Use synonyms
culture
Use synonyms
 mentality, the
porportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of already popular personalities
also
Linking Words
 plunged decisively in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 5 years.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the amount of competition and urge to be known well around the world has been elevating tremendously within
this
Linking Words
 ongoing period where the necessity to possess unique abilities and skills
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 turned out to be a norm rather than a leveraging tool. As bolstering
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 abilities will secure the rise in the viewership and the followers through
expression
Add an article
the expression
an expression
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 of it on various stages, imperativeness to nurture
such
Linking Words
 traits has turned into a mandatory requirement in order to glorify the dream of
getting
Verb problem
gaining
show examples
 popularity. Narrating an example,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
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 published
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
statistics enumerating the growth of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people possessing
bundle
Correct article usage
a bundle
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 of different traits
while
Linking Words
 posting their creations is almost twice
than
Correct word choice
that
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others
Change preposition
of others
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. That being said, as easy and effortless
it
Correct word choice
as it
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 seems to gain the attention of the audience on the internet, cultivating special traits is becoming a
must
Verb problem
apply
show examples
necessary requirement these days as the adoption of the
block
Use synonyms
culture
Use synonyms
 mindset and the proportion of
competetiveness
Correct your spelling
competitiveness
 are turning out as the prime culprits in causing hindrance in one's journey of making themselves famous amongst the global population.

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Task Achievement
Try to make your ideas clearer and more specific.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and logical flow.
Task Achievement
Include more varied examples or evidence to support your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that relate closely to the topic.
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task and provides a stance on the issue.
Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and provides relevant arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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