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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph compares how much time it would take for three companies to manufacture a refrigerator in 1990 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph compares how much time it would take for three companies to manufacture a refrigerator in 1990 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #time #three #companies #refrigerator #information #features #comparisons
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The diagram features a line graph that illustrates the
time
Use synonyms
 needed to produce a fridge in three distinct corporations in 1990 and 2000. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 diagram, we can see that all of them share a reducing pattern when it comes to production
time
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it varies individually in each firm. Looking closely at the details, C took more
time
Use synonyms
 compared to its competitors in both years. It required 35
minutes
Use synonyms
 for production in 1990 and managed to significantly reduce the number to below 30
minutes
Use synonyms
 in 2000. Despite the huge
reducement
Correct your spelling
reduction
, it was still the slowest of the three. Compared to C, A had a huge advancement in manufacturing, lowering the timeframe from 30
minutes
Use synonyms
 in 1990 to less than 25
minutes
Use synonyms
 in 2000. It had the most amount of
time
Use synonyms
 being shortened compared to the other two, making it the fastest fridge manufacturer in 2000.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to the other two companies, B had
a
Correct article usage
apply
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slow progress in boosting its production speed. It was unable to reduce its
time
Use synonyms
 to go below 25
minutes
Use synonyms
 in 2000, despite being the fastest one back in 1990. In summary, it is interesting to see the different improvements in
time
Use synonyms
 in these three institutions.
However
Linking Words
, it seems that both A and C have some major technology breakthroughs
while
Linking Words
 B stays roughly unchanged.
Submitted by robbieyan666 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduce" was used 2 times.
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