IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many places of the world, more larger supermarkets are built while smaller local shops are closing down. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to local people?

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In different cities around the world, massive
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 are built
while
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 small local
shops
Use synonyms
 are facing extinction. There are some advantages of
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 like affordable groceries cost, creating new job opportunities and convenient shopping, But it
also
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 comes with disadvantages like the local shop extinction, increase in plastic usage and traffic congestion. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
. On the positive side, by eliminating middle
broker's
Change noun form
brokers
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 or distributors,
price
Correct article usage
the price
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 of the goods and products are greatly reduced.
Moreover
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, the quality and authenticity of
product
Add an article
the product
a product
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 are checked before selling.
For example
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, buying groceries in
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 can reduce 5 to 10
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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 in actual Minimum retail price compared to no discount in local
shops
Use synonyms
. Another benefit is,
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 can create job opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 local people living in that area. On the negative side,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 can significantly reduce the
local
Correct quantifier usage
number of local
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 which may even lead to extinction. Nowadays, most people are convenient in buying big
shops
Use synonyms
 rather than small
shops
Use synonyms
due to
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 the availability and cheap products.
This
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 in turn slowly eradicates local retail
shops
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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,
Supermarkets
Use synonyms
 are using more plastics, which
also
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 cause environmental pollution.
For instance
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,
Recent
Correct article usage
a Recent
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 study shows that nearly 70℅ of the local
shops
Use synonyms
 are closed after the arrival of
foreign owned
Add a hyphen
foreign-owned
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supermarkets
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, even though there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
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 disadvantages of
supermarkets
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, with proper regulations
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can greatly benefit local people. Increasing local job opportunities, convenient shopping and price reduction in products are some of the great advantages.

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clarity
Work on ensuring a clearer separation between your main points and supporting details to enhance clarity.
cohesion
Try to use varied and transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs.
depth
While your essay addresses both sides, explaining potential regulations in the conclusion section could increase depth.
task response
Good grasp of the topic and addressing both advantages and disadvantages.
structure
Clear presence of introduction and conclusion for better structure.
examples
Use of a relevant specific example to support points regarding job opportunities and price reduction.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economies of scale
  • one-stop shopping
  • artisanal products
  • community impact
  • personalized service
  • economy boost
  • unique local products
  • price competition
  • local businesses
  • consumer benefits
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