IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some believe that history has little to teach us about today while others think that the study of the past helps us to understand the present. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #history #study
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History
Use synonyms
 is considered a crucial subject for every country , through
history
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 we learn more about the past.
However
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 , the
history
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 is a subject of considerable debate ,
this
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 essay will examine both views and present a well-rounded argument , followed by my own perspective on the matter. Soma people believe in
this
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 sentence (the past is the past) and they consider that the events which happened in the past were finished and ended and if we pay attention to it , it will be a waste of time.
thus
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 ,
history
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 can be an interruption for them. So,people should move on and continue their lives without remembering what happened in the past.
In contrast
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 , other people are more interested in historical subjects , and their governments include
history
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 in the curriculum subjects for students in order to gain insight into their
history
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 , they consider that when individuals know about their
history
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 , in the result , they will avoid doing the same thing in the future
also
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 in terms of the countries , each county has some difficult events which occurred in the past , and thanks to
history
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 , now the countries are developing by learning from their faults in the past.
For instance
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 , Oman includes a historical subject in high school and the content is about the achievements that Oman did in the past and how they built the country successfully and made a high economy.
As a result
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,
history
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 will strengthen the pride of students towards their country because they will get to know the efforts of their governments to provide a peaceful life for the citizens.
To sum up
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 , I firmly believe that
history
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 education is the way to avoid hardships , especially for countries ,
as well as
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 they will have flashbacks about the past and they will do a vision to avoid these problems.
Submitted by fatmalfarsi09 on

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task achievement
Provide a more explicit opinion in the conclusion to clearly present your stance.
task achievement
Ensure consistency in the use of articles - the usage of 'the history' can be refined.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to enhance coherence, such as 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', or 'however'.
coherence cohesion
The introductory paragraph clearly states the topic and the purpose of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument presented in the essay, leaving a lasting impression.
task achievement
Good use of an example (Oman) to illustrate the argument about history's value.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • valuable lessons
  • insights
  • root causes
  • current problems
  • past mistakes
  • repeating
  • generations
  • informed decisions
  • irrelevant
  • unique
  • contemporary solutions
  • technological advancements
  • thorough understanding
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