Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in tv, video games and other type of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this effect children? How do you think problem can be tackles?

All over the world pupils spend their free time watching TV,
video
games
, and other types of
activities
it more and more increasing. The majority of
parents
worried about it. So it is the effect for the future life. In
this
essay, I will discuss it and give my opinion. On the one hand, these days technology divorce is very popular with the young generation. They are using it increasingly. It can have a pros and cons effect for them.
For instance
, the University of California them research realized that the day-to-day use of phones,
video
games
and other
activities
.
Therefore
they decreased they are level of education.
in addition
, they do not respect the elders. Because it is addicted to them.
For example
, my relative brother who after school watches TV cartoons. He is not doing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any homework or other
activities
.
On the other hand
, someone who is addicted to
video
games
they are very crazy about it. some of them have to purchase the apps. not only but
also
they become a mental case.
For example
, those who are addicted to the
video
games
they are can not live without them. Since whiteout
video
games
they are playing it alone.
Therefore
,
parents
worry about their children. In conclusion, pupils are addicted to
video
games
, TV, and other
activities
. so the cause is they do not do well in education.
This
effectively has become a mental problem.
ThTherefore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, in my opinion, the
parents
can refer them to other
activities
such
as sports, and music classes after school.
Parents
can not worry about it.
Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Try to clarify your ideas by splitting them into clear, separate paragraphs for each main topic.
examples
Use more specific examples to support your arguments, making your essay more convincing.
linking
Focus on your essay's coherence by using linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly.
grammar
Revisit grammar and punctuation to improve readability and accuracy.
vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
balance
You've made a clear attempt to address both sides of the argument.
structure
You included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your essay.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!