Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in tv, video games and other type of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this effect children? How do you think problem can be tackles?

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All over the world pupils spend their free time watching TV,

video

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games

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, and other types of

activities

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it more and more increasing. The majority of

parents

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worried about it. So it is the effect for the future life. In

this

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essay, I will discuss it and give my opinion. On the one hand, these days technology divorce is very popular with the young generation. They are using it increasingly. It can have a pros and cons effect for them.

For instance

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, the University of California them research realized that the day-to-day use of phones,

video

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games

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and other

activities

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Therefore

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they decreased they are level of education.

in addition

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, they do not respect the elders. Because it is addicted to them.

For example

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, my relative brother who after school watches TV cartoons. He is not doing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

any homework or other

activities

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On the other hand

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, someone who is addicted to

video

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games

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they are very crazy about it. some of them have to purchase the apps. not only but

also

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they become a mental case.

For example

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, those who are addicted to the

video

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games

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they are can not live without them. Since whiteout

video

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games

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they are playing it alone.

Therefore

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parents

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worry about their children. In conclusion, pupils are addicted to

video

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games

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, TV, and other

activities

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. so the cause is they do not do well in education.

This

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effectively has become a mental problem.

ThTherefore

Correct your spelling

Therefore

, in my opinion, the

parents

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can refer them to other

activities

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such

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as sports, and music classes after school.

Parents

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can not worry about it.

ma.ushamanu1024Sat Apr 27 2024

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structure

Try to clarify your ideas by splitting them into clear, separate paragraphs for each main topic.

examples

Use more specific examples to support your arguments, making your essay more convincing.

linking

Focus on your essay's coherence by using linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly.

grammar

Revisit grammar and punctuation to improve readability and accuracy.

vocabulary

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.

balance

You've made a clear attempt to address both sides of the argument.

structure

You included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your essay.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in tv, video games and other type of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this effect children? How do you think problem can be tackles?

When talking about success, we often think of people who are rich or famous. In your opinion, what are the qualities that characterise a successful person? Why do you think these should be the criteria?

In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. this accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is better for children to study in the city, while other think that education in the countryside is more suitable for them. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage money. Others argue that it is bette to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinion in this?