IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In some nations, many individuals are adopting a vegetarian
diet
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the trend brings both merits and demerits, I believe that the disadvantages of a plant-based
diet
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 outweigh the advantages because animal products are high in essential macro and micronutrients that help to build the immune system.
People
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 following a vegetarian
diet
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 are religious. For them killing an innocent animal is a sin because it is against the principles of empathy and non-violence.
For example
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,
in
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apply
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the holy book of the Hindus the Bhagavad Gita, teaches the basic principles of maintaining
the
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apply
show examples
spiritual health
and
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apply
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one of which is taking care of animals.
As a result
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,
people
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 who read the holy books follow the spiritual path and choose
plant-based
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a plant-based
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diet
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.
Secondly
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, vegetarian
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
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such
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 as oats,
chickpeas
Correct word choice
and chickpeas
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 are high in fibre which helps to maintain
the
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apply
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gut health. Despite the advantages, individuals who do not eat animal products have low immune
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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, weak bones and low concentration power. Animal products are high in essential nutrients
such
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 as Protein, Vitamin B12, Omega 3 and Collagen. These nutrients are the building block of the body and help to keep the internal organs healthy which increases the strength and the capability of the body.
For example
Linking Words
, doctors of AIMS
claims
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claim
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 that the tendency
of catching
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to catch
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cold
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a cold
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 and cough in
the
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apply
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people
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 who are non-vegetarians is less. In conclusion, even though in some countries
people
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 are following
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegetarian food because of spiritual and gut health, in my opinion; those
people
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 have low nutrients in their
body
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bodies
show examples
 which affects them physically.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on how a vegetarian diet impacts physical health with more scientific evidence or statistics to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Ensure a more balanced discussion by acknowledging potential nutritional planning for vegetarians that can mitigate nutrient deficiencies.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words or phrases explicitly more to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your stance earlier in the introduction to make your argument more compelling from the start.
introduction conclusion present
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main argument, demonstrating a strong understanding of essay structure.
relevant specific examples
The essay contains relevant examples, like referring to religious texts and citing professionals, effectively supporting your points.
complete response
You maintained a focus on the topic throughout the essay, clearly addressing the task prompt which shows good task achievement.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Vegetarian diet
  • Chronic diseases
  • Carbon footprint
  • Deforestation
  • Animal welfare
  • Nutritional deficiencies
  • Balanced intake
  • Societal norms
  • Meat-dominant
  • Sustainable living
  • Plant-based proteins
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