In some countries,children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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In today's world it is common to see that
parents
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sometimes
told
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tell
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their
children
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that only if they work hard and are hardworking, they
might
Verb problem
apply
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achieve anything. Obviously, saying
such
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a statement to
children
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has its own positive and negative sides.
Firstly
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,talking about advantages,
such
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a message can boost
children
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's motivation to work and study harder,
they
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and they
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will learn different useful skills. If they understand
this
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statement correctly, they will work hard to achieve their aims and personal goals.
For example
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, my friend was very talented, he could understand all the topics very quickly, and he did not put a lot of effort into that. Unfortunately, he was very lazy. He did not do any homework at all.
In addition
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, he refused to participate in different competitions which would be beneficial for them in the future. But when his
parents
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discussed with my classmate his problem and gave him relevant reasons why he had to do homework, he
finally
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started learning even better than before.
In contrast
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,concerning drawbacks, some
children
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can be under
parents
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' pressure and they will have a fear of making their
parents
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disappointed if they do not do well. It can develop different mental illnesses,
such
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as depression. Nowadays, a lot of people from all over the world, especially adolescents, are suffering from
this
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disease. In conclusion, I would like to point out that persuading
children
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to study hard can be beneficial and not worthy at the same time, it depends on
children
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, because they all are different. If
parents
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want to make their child study better, it is better to find a specific method for him or her
Submitted by atiya on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. At times, transitions between your points could be clearer to maintain a smooth flow of ideas.
Task Response
Some ideas could be expanded upon to provide greater clarity. Ensure that each argument is fully developed to enhance comprehensiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a strong structure.
Task Response
The use of personal example adds depth to your argument and makes it more relatable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • work ethic
  • self-esteem
  • confidence
  • undue pressure
  • unrealistic goals
  • disappointment
  • contentment
  • teamwork
  • emotional intelligence
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