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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the contemporary era,the advancement of smartphones and computers has influenced the lives of millions,facilitating easy access to social media and movie streaming.People have varying perspectives on the significance of watching
movie
Add an article
a movie
the movie
show examples
 in a
cinema
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.
While
Linking Words
 technology has made it easier for us to watch
movies
Use synonyms
 at home,I agree with those who believe that the
cinema
Use synonyms
 experience enhances the pleasure of watching
films
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
technology
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technological
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 progress is undoubtedly crucial,creating conditions where anyone with an internet connection can watch
films
Use synonyms
 anywhere.
This
Linking Words
 offers numerous positive impacts.People can watch
movies
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
traveling
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travelling
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,even in places without
Use synonyms
cinema
Fix the agreement mistake
cinemas
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,those on work trips or missions can enjoy
films
Use synonyms
 during their downtime.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,individuals with specialized jobs in remote locations can benefit from the accessibility of
movies
Use synonyms
 through technology.Social media can
also
Linking Words
 play
helpful
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a helpful
show examples
 role,allowing them to stay connected and access
information
Correct article usage
the information
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 they need.
Moreover
Linking Words
,for elderly people,going to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 can be difficult,and they often prefer the comfort of watching
movies
Use synonyms
 at home.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the
cinema
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 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best place for watching
movies
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,providing a dedicated atmosphere with vital equipment,improving the
overall
Linking Words
 impact of the film.In the
cinema
Use synonyms
,the film plays on a vast and high-quality screen.
Moreover
Linking Words
,acoustics are incredibly distinct and clear,contributing to a better viewing experience.Most importantly,watching
movies
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 accompanied by other
audience
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audiences
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 can be incredibly rewarding.
Consequently
Linking Words
,I personally believe that watching
movies
Use synonyms
 in the
cinema
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 can lead to a
further
Linking Words
 pleasant. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 mobile phones and tablets provide the condition that allows watching
movies
Use synonyms
 anywhere,I agree that watching
films
Use synonyms
 in a
cinema
Use synonyms
 can be more enjoyable.

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coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, connecting ideas more explicitly with linking phrases can enhance the flow of arguments, making the essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
task achievement
Consider using more specific examples and supporting details to strengthen your main points, particularly when discussing the benefits of cinemas over watching movies at home.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and presents both viewpoints effectively, along with your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and main points from the essay, providing a satisfying closure.
task achievement
The essay offers a complete response to the task, addressing both views and providing your own opinion.
task achievement
Main ideas are clearly expressed, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Mobile Viewing
  • Cost-efficient
  • Time-efficient
  • Personalized experience
  • Immersive
  • Cinematic experience
  • Surround sound
  • Collective experience
  • Technical superiority
  • Sensory experience
  • Social hubs
  • Cultural events
  • Distractions
  • Preservation
  • Filmmaking art
  • Cinematographic nuances
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