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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Whether males and females should have different jobs
due to
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 their characteristics is a highly debatable discussion point.
This
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 writer contends that both sexes should share work
due to
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 the equality in skills and knowledge, despite those who believe that
women
Use synonyms
 are weaker than
men
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. It is vital to understand that human beings have evolved to narrow the gap between
men
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 and
women
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.
This
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 is because many countries have supported schools so that anyone can be educated.
Therefore
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, there is little difference between a woman’s profession and their male counterparts.
As a result
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, any female adult can do almost anything that
men
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 can and vice versa. Take the companies in Vietnam as a prime example, the ratio between successful male and female entrepreneurs is almost the same being around 51% and 49% respectively.
However
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, some suggest that
women
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 lack physicality compared to
men
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. The main reason for
this
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 thinking is that
men
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 generally have bigger body frames and muscle mass.
This
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 is a valid point, but
due to
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 the advances in technology, there is less need for strength and power.
Consequently
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,
women
Use synonyms
 can participate in more tasks and directly compete with
men
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.
According to
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a
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apply
show examples
recent research, most
women
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 who do office work are almost as successful as
men
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. In summary,
women
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 have enough qualities to manage
with
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apply
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any occupation
as well as
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men
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 do despite their physical disadvantage.
Thus
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, there shouldn’t be jobs that are only suitable for a particular gender.

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure your examples are more specific and directly related to the topic. Try to incorporate real-world examples or studies to support your arguments more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, strive to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This could make the essay flow better and the arguments more convincing.
task achievement
When providing examples, ensure they are detailed and fully explained. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Consider a brief discussion of the opposing viewpoint to show a balanced perspective before reinforcing your stance. This could add depth to your argumentation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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