IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
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The bar charts illustrate what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time
work
Use synonyms
 did after leaving college in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of graduates was higher than the
number
Use synonyms
 of postgraduates. It is noticeable that
both
Use synonyms
 the figures for
further
Linking Words
 study were the highest
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
 the figures for voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 were the lowest figure.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of part-time
work
Use synonyms
 was second order and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
 was third order in
both
Use synonyms
 students. Turning the graph in more detail,
while
Linking Words
 the gap
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
further
Linking Words
 study and part-time
work
Use synonyms
 in graduates was big about 12,000, the gap
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 postgraduates was small about 1,100.
In other words
Linking Words
, in graduates, the amounts of part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and unemployment were rarely observed differences.
However
Linking Words
, in postgraduates, the amounts of part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and unemployment were significantly
shown
Verb problem
apply
show examples
differences
Replace the word
different
show examples
. Meanwhile, voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 was not popular for
both
Use synonyms
 students.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, number, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
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