IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart above shows details about the percentage of the human population in four Asian Countries. Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia, that are living in main cities from 1970 to 2020. with a guess for 2030 and 2040.

The chart above shows details about the percentage of the human population in four Asian Countries. Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia, that are living in main cities from 1970 to 2020. with a guess for 2030 and 2040.
#percentage #population #four #asian #countries #philippines #malaysia #thailand #indonesia #cities #guess
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line graph illustrates the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of the people population in main cities in four different
countries
Use synonyms
 over the 70-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an upward trend in four
countries
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of people population in
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
was fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
has fluctuated
show examples
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the beginning
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 was higher than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two
countries
Use synonyms
. Turning the graph in more detail, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 rise steadily from 30% to 80%.
This
Linking Words
 means that the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 will have the highest figure.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 has variations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 will be third order. Meanwhile, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of Indonesia
climb
Change the verb form
climbs
show examples
 significantly, reaching 60%.
In other words
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of Indonesia will be second order.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of Thailand rose steadily from 20% to 40%. It is noticeable that
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three
countries
Use synonyms
 will be observed significant differences.
Submitted by fdsajkloo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, countries, philippines, malaysia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 11 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: