Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While
some would argue that youngsters nurtured with competitive teaching should be encouraged in order to survive adulthood in the future, I think that cooperation should rather be emphasised as it leads to the development of vital soft Linking Words
skill
, namely resilience.
As Fix the agreement mistake
skills
the
matter of fact Correct article usage
a
that
competition is inevitable in our society, Correct word choice
apply
teaching
Correct word choice
and teaching
children
to compete Use synonyms
one
another Change preposition
with one
allow
them to prepare for being Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
a grown-ups
. It is true that we are all fighting against each other throughout our Correct the article-noun agreement
a grown-up
grown-ups
life
and by immerse Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
life lesson Linking Words
for
Change preposition
apply
them
at a young age can help them survive in their community when older. Take China, Correct pronoun usage
apply
for example
; they Linking Words
are grow
up with Change the verb form
are growing
are grown
fiercely
academic competition since primary school in order to Change the word
fierce
defeating
other graduates for limited job offers. Change the verb
defeat
However
, I believe that raising them in Linking Words
a
competitive surroundings does not always guarantee that they will be successful adults or not.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, it is thought that Linking Words
children
being taught to be cooperative will benefit them later as Use synonyms
this
is the key Linking Words
skills
in life. To simply explain, we are all good at something Fix the agreement mistake
skill
while
others are not and so do we. It is understandable Linking Words
that
why people who Correct word choice
apply
is
cooperative Change the verb form
are
often
preferable by many people in Add a missing verb
are often
the
society as they Correct article usage
apply
likely
to help Add a missing verb
are likely
other
rather than focusing on the benefit of Fix the agreement mistake
others
themselve
. Correct your spelling
themselves
For instance
, many Linking Words
children
in Thailand are thought to be cooperative through parenting Use synonyms
that
we should help and support each other. I believe Correct word choice
and that
this
school of thought is preferable because it Linking Words
create
resilient adults and Change the verb form
creates
peaceful
community in the future.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
a peaceful
although
competition is unavoidable for Linking Words
children
and teaching Use synonyms
this
might be a preparation for them, Linking Words
this
does not Linking Words
certified
the success of being adult, because they do not have resilience which is more crucial for them in Change the verb form
certify
the
society.Correct article usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
Ensure grammatical accuracy to strengthen coherence and avoid confusion. Minor errors can sometimes hinder understanding.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structures to enhance clarity and avoid repetition. This will help maintain the reader's interest and improve overall understanding.
task achievement
Effectively discusses both viewpoints, offering a balanced perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the essay's arguments.
task achievement
Uses relevant examples to support main points, making the argument more compelling and relatable.