IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliences and amount of time spwnt doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The chart below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliences and amount of time spwnt doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
#show #changes #ownership #appliences #amount #time #spwnt #housework #households #country
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The given line graphs illustrate the
proportion
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 of shifts in ownership of electrical products and
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of time spent doing chores in households in one country over a 99-year
period
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, from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportions of households of three electrical products rose steadily over the
period
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of
hours
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 of housework per week fell rapidly from 50
hours
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 to 10
hours
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. Looking at the graphs in more detail, the
proportion
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 of washing
machine
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machines
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 was ups and downs.
This
Linking Words
 means that the
proportion
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 of washing
machine
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machines
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 increased until 1960,
then
Linking Words
 it decreased until 1980.
However
Linking Words
, the
proportion
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 of washing
machine
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machines
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 climbed from 1980 to 2019. Meanwhile, the percentage of vacuum
cleaner
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cleaners
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 rose steadily from 30% to 100% over the
period
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of
refrigerator
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refrigerators
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 climbed significantly from 0% to 100%. Especially, it is noticeable that the figures for
refrigerator
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refrigerators
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 increased to 90% from 1920 to 1960.
while
Linking Words
 the figures for these electrical goods was
upward
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an upward
the upward
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 trend, the number of
hours
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 of chores per week was
downward
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a downward
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 trend over the
period
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, increasing
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of
electirc
Correct your spelling
electric
 goods led to reducing
hours
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 of chores.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, period, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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