Some people think that children are having to much free time and this time should be use to study more. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
There is no denying the fact that
children
's leisure Use synonyms
time
is essential to spend in a useful way. Use synonyms
While
it is a commonly held belief that some people think that kids should be using their free Linking Words
time
to do more schoolwork, there is an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that parents should organise their child's free Use synonyms
time
to help them spend it in a beneficial path outside of schoolwork.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, Linking Words
family
should allocate Add an article
the family
a family
this
Linking Words
time
to allow Use synonyms
children
to find their hobbies. Use synonyms
In other words
, all Linking Words
children
spend all day at Use synonyms
schools
, mostly seven hours, and Fix the agreement mistake
school
then
they have some free Linking Words
time
at home, and during Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
time
we should help them to explore their hobbies to get relaxed and avoid stress.Use synonyms
In addition
, most of the successful influencers, Linking Words
such
as authors, actors, and singers, their hobbies become their practical field. Linking Words
For example
, the famous Saudi actor Ali Ahmed, their parents help him to find his hobby in his leisure Linking Words
time
after school.
Another point to consider is that family should spend Use synonyms
time
together in their free Use synonyms
time
.It is Use synonyms
also
possible to say that, in the development of industry, both mother and father work hard to secure their family's financial resources, and Linking Words
as a result
, they spend maybe one or two hours with the Linking Words
children
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, when a child spends Linking Words
time
with adults, he is immediately affected by them and learns so many things, Use synonyms
such
as confidence, responsibility, critical thinking, and all these soft skills that are important for daily life.
In conclusion, in their free Linking Words
time
, kids learn and do many things, and parents must be focused Use synonyms
to use
it in a wonderful path.Change preposition
on using
Submitted by mnm_234 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph develops a single clear idea, and use more signposting to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Consider addressing the opposing viewpoint in more depth to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Check for small grammatical errors or awkward phrases that can slightly hamper clarity.
Introduction
The introduction effectively sets up the essay by presenting both sides of the argument.
Examples
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, such as the mention of Ali Ahmed, to support its points.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the essay’s argument.