IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #future #planet #species #support #life
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Environmental problems and their consequences are the most discussed subjects in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society. Some people believe that human
activity
Use synonyms
 will lead to catastrophic
extinction
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others think that the potential problems are overrated. In my opinion, the environment is changing;
however
Linking Words
, there is no reason to suppose that the
Earth
Use synonyms
 will be unlivable. The influence of humanity on
Earth
Use synonyms
 is evident. People were the reason for the
extinction
Use synonyms
 of many species
such
Linking Words
 as the Dodo bird. A lot of
animals
Use synonyms
 are in danger now for different
reasons
Use synonyms
. Whales used to be a source of fat for lamps
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 almost led to their disappearance. Gorillas and chimps lose their homes cause of forest cutting. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, their populations are reducing. Emissions from
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
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 are heating the atmosphere
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 changes the conditions where some
animals
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 used to live. Most of them are unable to adapt to the new surroundings and die in the end.
To sum up
Linking Words
, human beings have always been a danger to many species and nature and caused the
extinction
Use synonyms
 of some of them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
Earth
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's temperature and climate have been changing for the entire history of the planet because of natural
reasons
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. There were periods of high temperatures. During
this
Linking Words
 time dinosaurs were the dominant
animals
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. Later the Ice Age happened. Dinosaurs disappeared as they couldn'
t
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 live in that climate and other
animals
Use synonyms
 took
the
Change the word
their
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 place on the top of the animal world. The same parallel could describe the ozone hole. We believe it increasing as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result of human
activity
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. Though, the latest researches say that the hole has decreased for the
last
Linking Words
 ten years,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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the level of emissions has increased.
Thus
Linking Words
, we don'
t
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 influence the planet as much as we think. There are natural
reasons
Use synonyms
 that we don'
t
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 understand and can'
t
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 control. In the end, the opinion that human
activity
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 provokes environmental problems is valid. People were the reason for the
extinction
Use synonyms
 of many
animals
Use synonyms
. The emissions from human
activity
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 leave a significant impact on the planet. At the same time, some opinions about a potential environmental catastrophe are very alarming with no evident
reasons
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. The
Earth
Use synonyms
 has always had different periods caused by natural
reasons
Use synonyms
 that led to the death of one
Use synonyms
animals
Change to a singular noun
animal
show examples
 and the development of other
animals
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by seyfltutor on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow by clearly connecting paragraphs with transition words or phrases.
task achievement
Ensure all points in your introduction are expanded upon in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments well.
task achievement
The inclusion of historical facts about Earth's climate adds depth and relevance to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable development
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity loss
  • climate change
  • greenhouse gases
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitable planets
  • space colonization
  • terraforming
  • ethical dilemmas
  • resource allocation
  • technological advancements
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