IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in the fasr food reasturants between 2003 and 2013.

the chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in the fasr food reasturants between 2003 and 2013.
#people #usa #fasr #food #reasturants
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the fast food
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 trends
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 Americans, in the 10-
year
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
 between 2003 and 2013.
Overal
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
, What stands out from the graph is that it was common among Americans to eat
ready- made
Correct your spelling
ready-made
show examples
 food once a
week
Use synonyms
 or once or twice a month. As for the
once a
Add a hyphen
once-a-week
show examples
week
Use synonyms
 figures, it can be seen that over one-quarter of people had
this
Linking Words
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 in all
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 years. In 2006, it reached its highest point at around 33%.
This
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 2003 was ranked second with just over 30%. Regarding the once or twice a month, the popularity of
this
Linking Words
 way of eating was high too. The
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 in 2003, was almost the same
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 once a
week
Use synonyms
 in the same
year
Use synonyms
. But it had fallen to 25% in 2006,
Then
Linking Words
 it rose dramatically to approximately 33% in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. As regards the several times a
week
Use synonyms
, it is visible that the numbers are almost half of the numbers for the once a
week
Use synonyms
, in years 2003, 2006 and 2013. Which would be respectively around 15%, 20% and 17%. If we look at the
propotions
Correct your spelling
proportions
proportion
 of
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
 few times a
year
Use synonyms
, it was approximately 13% in 2003. It witnessed a slight rise to 15% in 2006 and did not change in 2013. The pattern for both categories the every day and the never was the same in all these years
mantioned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
. In the first
Use synonyms
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 number for the never was 5%
while
Linking Words
 just under 5% eat fast food every day. In 2006, it
drroped
Correct your spelling
dropped
drooped
 to 2.5% and
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
remained steady
utill
Correct your spelling
until
till
still
 2013.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words week, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: