IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Governments should spend less money on restoring old buildings and more money for new housing and roads development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Municipalities prefer to invest in fresh
houses
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 and road refurbishment, in order to spend less money on repairing old
buildings
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 in cities. I totally agree with
this
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 statement for some reasons. The reason why I advocate
this
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 view is that investing in new
houses
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 and roads is favourable for the
government
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. To be more specific, despite of the population who live in old
houses
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 faces difficulties, these
buildings
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 are repaired at least a once year, and the
government
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 undertakes to spend on overhead costs.
Therefore
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, it is cheaper and more convenient to do than trying to revamp
buildings
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 whose designs may be outdated.
For example
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, the majority of people who live in old
houses
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 are moved and insured with new residents by the authorities every year in Baku city of Azerbaijan. Another point to consider is that
although
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,
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apply
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 a lot of old
buildings
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 are repaired on time, these
houses
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 are not tolerant, and it can create risks for the population and the environment every time.
In other words
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, when
natural
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a natural
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 disaster happens, millions of individuals may lose their lives because of old and impatient
houses
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.
For instance
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, during the earthquake,
buildings
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 collapsed and people were buried under the rubble in Turkey.
Thus
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, municipalities try to invest more in building fresh
buildings
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 and new pathways, it is safe for people. In conclusion, these multifaceted reasons show that the
government
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 should spend more money on fresh
houses
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 and roads than repairing old
buildings
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, whose it is more suitable for both residents and the
government
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.

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Sentence Variety
Focus on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and flow. Complex sentences can add depth to your argument.
Detail Expansion
Consider expanding your examples with more detail to effectively illustrate your points. This helps strengthen your argument and provides clearer evidence to support your position.
Language Accuracy
Be mindful of grammar and vocabulary. Accuracy and diversity in language use can significantly elevate the quality of your essay.
Position Clarity
Work on clarifying your position in the introduction and conclusion for a stronger and more persuasive argument. Clear stances engage readers more effectively.
Introduction & Conclusion
You have included a clear introduction and conclusion that bookend your essay effectively.
Structure
Your essay presents a logical structure, making it easier for readers to follow your arguments.
Supporting Examples
You've provided relevant examples to support your main ideas, which strengthens your argument.
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