IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people have now poor memory. What is probably the reason and what should we do to improve?

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It is undeniable
true
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apply
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that nowadays most
of
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apply
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individuals are more forgetful and have a weak
memory
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.
This
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 essay will examine the major extents contributing to
this
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 issue
,
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while
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 suggesting some measures to enhance
the
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apply
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memory
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. On the one hand, there are several factors that are
assocciated
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associated
to
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with
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the
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apply
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forgetfulness in
few
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a few
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 decades.
Firstly
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, from
scientific
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the scientific
a scientific
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 point, the
defeciency
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deficiency
 of some essential nutrients
such
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 as Vitamin B12 can
resulte
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result
 in poor
memory
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.
Todays
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Today
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people
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 care less about their meals and consume more fast foods with
lack
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a lack
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 of crucial nutrients in them.
Secondly
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,
people
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 often in
new
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the new
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 modern world, rely more on technologies rather than their mind, which
consequently
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 lead to
keep
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keeping
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memory
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 inefficient.
For instance
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, in
past
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the past
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people
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have
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had
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 to keep the
numbers
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number
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 of relatives in
their
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apply
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mind,
while
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 nowadays
people
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 note everything
in
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on
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 their smartphones.
Lastly
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, in
high-speed
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a high-speed
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 world
people
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 strive to do many things
in
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at
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 the same time, thereby their
memory
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Add a missing verb
is devided
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devided
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divided
 through multiple
task
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tasks
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.
on the other hand
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, there are various ways
for improving
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to improve
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the
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apply
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memory
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. The first and most is to have a healthy diet including Omega-3 from fish or olive oil.
In addition
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, engaging in brain-stimulating activities like crossword puzzles can
strenthen
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strengthen
memory
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 recall abilities.
Moreover
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, understanding one's unique
memory
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 type - auditory, visual, tactile or hybrid - can help individuals to benefit
the
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from the
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 special strategies,
acordingly
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accordingly
.
Finally
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, using
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a
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to-do-list
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to-do list
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 and
calenders
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calendars
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 can
live
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leave
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the
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apply
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free room for efficiently memorizing
of
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apply
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the necessary information. In conclusion,
however
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, some reasons
such
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 as vitamin deficiency,
over reliance
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over-reliance
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 on technology
instead
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 of
human
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the human
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 mind, and multi-tasking
leads
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lead
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 to
decline
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a decline
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 in memorizing ability, but individuals can tackle
to
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apply
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their forgetfulness by having healthy
dish
Fix the agreement mistake
dishes
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, playing puzzles or using
calenders
Correct your spelling
calendars
show examples
.

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language
Ensure consistent use of singular and plural forms for nouns, e.g., "most of individuals" should be "most individuals."
language
Double-check spelling errors to improve readability, e.g., "defeciency" should be "deficiency," "resulte" should be "result."
task achievement
Expand on some examples with more detail and explanation to make your points stronger.
structure
The essay includes a clear introduction and a conclusion that summarizes key points.
task achievement
You've identified several relevant causes for poor memory, such as nutrient deficiency and reliance on technology.
coherence
Good organization with distinct paragraphs discussing causes and improvements.
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