In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Although
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many students
spent
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spend
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their
collage
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college
show examples
years at home with their families ,others tend to go overseas to other countries to achieve their
degree
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degrees
show examples
.In my opinion the benefit of
studing
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studying
away
cross
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is
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the
drawback
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drawbacks
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. On one hand , living with their family during their education period will
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provide
provied
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provide
less
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fewer
show examples
responsibilities and clear minds
thus
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, the students have time to focus on their
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lessons
lession
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lessons
rather than
Add a missing verb
be concern
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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about their
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accommodation
accomidation
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accommodation
,rent,electricity ,and food.
In addition
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to the
psychologycal
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psychological
aspect of leaving
country
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the country
show examples
,recent studies found that student who
travel
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travels
show examples
to take their education program
oway
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away
from their hometown
faced
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face
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psychological issues
such
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as depression ,autism and
lonlyness
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loneliness
.
One
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On
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the other hand ,
studing abroud
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studying abroad
brings
a
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apply
show examples
new
experiances
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experience
experiences
to students and
provied
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provides
personal and emotional growth helping them to be mature and
taking
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take
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their
life
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seriosly
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seriously
.
In addition
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to
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this
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this,
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the individuals learn how to be
independant
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independent
and
takes
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take
show examples
care of their own businesses.For
instace
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instance
,
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the goverment
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goverment
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government
send
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sends
show examples
yearly many
student
Change to a plural noun
students
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to study and
bringing
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bring
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back the
experiancers
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experiences
experiencers
experience
they
takes
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take
show examples
from the
outsid
Correct your spelling
outside
.I think having the chance to
studing abroud
Correct your spelling
study abroad
could bring new
appourtinities
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opportunities
in
life
Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
those who do not take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advanture
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adventure
. In conclusion ,
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
live
life
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worth living
suppose
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is supposed
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to
fill
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be filled
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with new steps every day .
Furthermore
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,regardless
how
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of how
show examples
hard for student and their family to stay away the personal and practical qualities that they
absorbed
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absorb
show examples
will reflect on
rheir
Correct your spelling
their
life
Use synonyms
quality in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
short term .More
advanture
Correct your spelling
advantages
and big steps mean more fun and satisfaction in
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by youmnamaher91 on

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language
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and avoid run-on sentences.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points, drawing from either statistical data or personal experience.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by using transition words more effectively for smoother flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of living away from home, providing a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
There is a good attempt at providing reasons for the opinion with a general explanation in each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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