IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #future #planet #species #support #life
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Nowadays, human activities negatively
effects
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effect
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to
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apply
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the
environments
Fix the agreement mistake
environment
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thus
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 several people encourage to research alternative regions to live
such
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 as
in
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apply
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Mars, Saturnus, etc.
This
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 is because the Earth -
Correct article usage
the planets
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planets
Fix the agreement mistake
planet
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 where human
live
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lives
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 - has been unsuitable for their
habitants
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habitats
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.
However
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, I disagree with
ths
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this
 strategy since it is not effectively solving the root of
problems
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the problems
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 of global warming.
To begin
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 with, the decision
of
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to
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migration
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migrate
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 to
different
Correct article usage
a different
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 planet is deeply connected with financial situations and personalities
among
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in
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 society. First and foremost, if the community are wealthy, they probably have
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 future since they have
unlimited
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an unlimited
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 budget to adapt
in
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to
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 new areas.
Conversely
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, the majority
people
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of people
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 in
low-middle
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the low-middle
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 class will not afford
this
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 strategy especially when they
should
Verb problem
apply
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restart their
carrers
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careers
 in new areas,
they
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as they
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 might run out
a
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of a
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lot of money before they acquire
salary
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a salary
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.
On the other hand
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, bad habits will carried away even though they did not live
in
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on
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 the Earth. To illustrate
this
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, an individual who always
throw
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throws
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 away
home-wastes
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home waste
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 in the river will still do the same behavior in their newest environment.
This
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 is because,
according to
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 the
Physcologist
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Psychologist
,
behavior
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behaviour
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 is difficult to
removed
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remove
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 unless
community
Correct article usage
the community
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received
Wrong verb form
receives
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 exposure to
an preferable actions
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preferable actions
a preferable action
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. In conclusion, it is undeniable that human
behavior
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behaviour
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lead
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leads
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 to air, water, and land pollution.
As a result
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, to tackle
down
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apply
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this
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 problem, it needs collaboration between society and governments.
Firstly
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, the government promotes green practices
such
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 as recycling waste, using sustainable packaging, etc
as well as
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 explains the effects
from
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of
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this
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 action for the greater good.
Moreover
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, researchers should discover renewable energy so a lot of people still can
used
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use
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 energy for daily needs.
Submitted by firly on

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grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar for clarity. For example, 'effects to the environments' should be 'affects the environment.'
structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and develops one main idea to enhance coherence.
content
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points to strengthen task achievement.
content
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, disagreeing with the idea of moving to another planet.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and contribute well to the overall structure of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable development
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity loss
  • climate change
  • greenhouse gases
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitable planets
  • space colonization
  • terraforming
  • ethical dilemmas
  • resource allocation
  • technological advancements
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