Robots and AI are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happen? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

It is true that technology has become
advanced
Correct quantifier usage
more advanced
show examples
every day especially the development of AI and
robots
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
make room for many careers. I believe that the reason for
this
is to keep track of the modern era and
also
more intelligent
people
while
it may have a negative impact on society. In
this
modern society, technology is developing which means
people
around the
world
also
have to follow the pace of
this
era.
Therefore
, there will be more
people
using their intelligence to boost the country.
For instance
, Asimo is one of the successful achievements of the Honda brand, it is the most up-to-date robot in the
world
which possesses smooth movement and
also
a cute appearance, it can commit some basic activities like
human
Add an article
a human
show examples
does
such
as going downstairs, playing soccer,
so
Correct word choice
and so
show examples
forth.
As a result
, many jobs which require basic functions can be done by
robots
. Even though
robots
and AI are some of the most successful inventions of humans,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
a negative impact on society because
people
depend on
robots
much more than anything else.
For example
,
robots
are perfect in every aspect so they may have an idea of defeating humans to create a new
world
where
robots
are the only ones to have the power to do anything.
Hence
, it may be a dangerous threat to human lives. In conclusion, because there are many more intelligent
people
with new inventions of
robots
and AI to develop the country it may have a negative effect on
people
's lives
due to
the idea of creating a new
world
with
robots
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure to maintain a consistent argument throughout your essay. While discussing the advantages and disadvantages, it's key to offer a balanced view but with a clear conclusion that aligns with your initial stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph to aid in guiding the reader through your argument more effectively.
Task Achievement
Try to further explore the examples you use by detailing how they directly support your argument, thus strengthening your overall point.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes the points made in the essay and clearly states your own opinion, to reinforce the aim of the essay topic.
Task Achievement
You've done well in introducing an innovative perspective on the topic.
Task Achievement
Good use of an example, like Asimo, to illustrate your point, which helps in bringing your argument to life.
Coherence & Cohesion
You successfully managed to maintain coherence in your essay by linking ideas logically.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: