IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. What extent do you agree or disagree?

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The global refugee crisis has placed millions of people in critical need of facilitate
due to
Linking Words
 war and natural disasters. I strongly agree that wealthy nations should accept more
refugees
Use synonyms
 and provide them with essential assistance, as they have the resources to do.
Moreover
Linking Words
, evacuees can have a positive impact on rich
countries
Use synonyms
 by contributing skills. First of all, affluent nations are exceptionally prepared with strong economies and advanced systems to allocate crucials
such
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 as food, housing, and healthcare. Assisting exiles is not only a moral obligation but
also
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 a way to
preserving
Wrong verb form
preserve
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 lives and
declining
Wrong verb form
decline
show examples
 human suffering.
For instance
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, Ireland supported the Ukrainian residents affected by
war
Correct article usage
the war
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 by providing them with safe
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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 and residential cards.
This
Linking Words
 example had the significant impact that wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
 can have by extending
hand
Add an article
a hand
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 to those facing challenges beyond their control.
Secondly
Linking Words
, accepting displaced people
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 several benefits. Many asylum seekers are skilled and hardworking, and they are eager to rebuild their lives. When given opportunities,
refugees
Use synonyms
 can help
economy
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the economy
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, especially those with high-level professional skills.
For example
Linking Words
, Australia’s programs have shown that evacuees can start
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 and fill the labour shortage in
hospital
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hospitals
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the population might increase significantly. Even though,
this
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 benefits both
in
Change preposition
apply
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refugees
Use synonyms
 and the host country. In conclusion, wealthy
countries
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 should accept more
refugees
Use synonyms
 because it
their
Add a missing verb
is their
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 responsibility,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 can positively affect other nations. It may
also
Linking Words
 be
the a
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the
a
show examples
 right choice for promoting global ability. I believe many wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
 should welcome
refugees
Use synonyms
, who are in serious trouble.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a more logical progression of ideas within your paragraphs. Sometimes ideas seem to jump without a clear transition.
task achievement
Try to use more varied and precise vocabulary to express your ideas, enhancing clarity and richness.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your points more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, encapsulating the main views effectively.
task achievement
You have a solid response that addresses all parts of the prompt.
task achievement
The examples you chose, like Ireland and Australia, are relevant and help to support your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refugees
  • Asylum seekers
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Economic impact
  • Public services
  • International law
  • Conventions relating to the status of refugees
  • Labor market
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Burden-sharing
  • Resettlement programs
  • Host country
  • Border security
  • Comprehensive policy
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