IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some children can learn more efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, children should watch TV regularly both in school and at home? Do you agree or disagree?

It is known that watching
TV
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 is beneficial for some kids when it comes to their learning habits.
Thus
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,
TV
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 watching is necessary for
children
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 and they should watch it at their school
as well as
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 at their house. I do not agree with
this
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 statement. I believe that exposure
of
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to
show examples
 that much
of
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apply
show examples
screen
time
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 will lead to drawbacks
of
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in
show examples
children
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's development
such
Linking Words
 as anti-social
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and problems in their cognitive abilities. Both at school and at home
children
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 must interact with their parents and peers. In terms of learning the environment and the real
world
Add a comma
world,
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 a child must play games.
However
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,
by
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apply
show examples
watching that much of hours of
TV
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tooks
Correct your spelling
took
this
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 opportunity.
This
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 leads them to isolate and not want to interact with others.
For instance
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, my nephew used to be a lot more social than now. After being exposed to screen
time
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 both at school and at home, he did not even
wanted
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want
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 to play with his closest friend.
In addition
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, it affects cognitive abilities and skills negatively
such
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 as declining
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 attention span. These ages are the most vital
time
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 for a child to develop. It limits kid
to read
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from reading
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 a book or
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 for their classes.
Consequently
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, they will be way behind
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 pals who spend less
time
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 monitoring a screen.
For example
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, in a recent study, it was found that
children
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 who spend less
time
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 focusing on
TV
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 had greater grades than the ones who spend much more hours. In conclusion, even though
TV
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 includes fun things to watch, it comes with negative consequences.
According to
Linking Words
 me,
children
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's
TV
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time
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 should be limited.

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task achievement
Expand on some arguments with additional reasoning or examples to strengthen task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent use of linking words to enhance the logical flow of ideas and arguments.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly outlines your viewpoint, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments.
supported main points
You provided specific examples to support your main points, such as the example of your nephew.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • visual learning
  • complementary resource
  • educational content
  • engagement
  • motivation
  • balance
  • moderation
  • screen time
  • curriculum
  • interpersonal interactions
  • distraction
  • academic performance
  • stimulating curiosity
  • high-quality programming
  • information retention
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