Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is said that some
people
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think voluntary community
work
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, like charity
work
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,
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
show examples
improvement, or instructing youth in sports
children
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, must be an essential element in high
school
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programes
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion because it allows
children
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to become a good person in the future. The main reason why high
school
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children
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must engage in voluntary
work
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is to help them develop a sense of responsibility and empathy. They were divided into several groups with different activities to help them understand what the real-world challenges are.
This
Linking Words
prepares them for real
life
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and learns how they should care about each other to be a good person in their community.
For example
Linking Words
, if
children
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attend charity
work
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, they learn how to treat elderly
people
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who need treatment, so
this
Linking Words
helps them to treat their parents when they get older.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
kind of voluntary
work
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helps high
school
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children
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to broaden their horizons in the future. Because there is an unwritten
life
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rule that if you help elderly
people
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, you are helped when you get older. On the other side, some
people
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may claim that these activities have adverse effects on
children
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’s studies. The supporters of
this
Linking Words
opinion perhaps insist that
such
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activities take more time from
children
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and cause
children
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to fall behind in their studies despite their only duty being to focus on their studies.
However
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, I do not find
this
Linking Words
argument convincing, as teachers can enter and discipline
children
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and
also
Linking Words
create a timetable like a worksheet to prevent time-wasting among
children
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. In conclusion, I agree entirely that high
school
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children
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must engage in voluntary
work
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because of experience in real
life
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and broaden their prospects for the future of
life
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.
Submitted by mohsenakhlaghiplc on

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coherence cohesion
Further clarify outlines of the opposing arguments if possible.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or details to illustrate points.
task achievement
Try to address potential counterarguments more fully.
introduction conclusion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, maintaining completeness throughout.
logical structure
The main arguments are explained coherently, showing logical progression in ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • community service
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • practical experience
  • social skills
  • enhance
  • teamwork
  • sense of belonging
  • diverse groups
  • exposure
  • volunteer work
  • career paths
  • genuine engagement
  • resentment
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