Levels of depression and antisocial behavior in children have increased dramatically in modern societies. This situation has led many people to believe that childhood itself is in crisis. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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In
this
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fast-paced life, it is a fact that
,
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apply
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an increasing number of children are suffering from depression and antisocial
behavior
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behaviour
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. Because of
this
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most of the folks reckon that childhood is in problem. If questioned, I agree with
this
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notion to a major
extant
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extent
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. My justification is explained
further
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. There are a plethora of compelling reasons for
this
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situation. The most
predominent
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predominant
prominent
one is
enhancement
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the enhancement
an enhancement
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of technology. To elaborate
further
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,
immense
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an immense
the immense
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amount of toddlers are spending
significant
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a significant
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amount of their
time
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in
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on
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electronic gadgets in terms of getting enjoyment which can
makes
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make
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them mentally ill
as well as
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they will become more
introvert
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introverted
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.
For example
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, any kid who
utilize
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utilizes
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their
time
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in
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apply
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playing video games,
they do
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does
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not have any
time
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for their family and friends as they
staying
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stay
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on
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in
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their room. Another striking reason is that
,
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numerous amount of parents are working because of that they will not be able to give their precious
time
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to their wards and they do not have
time
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to inculcate their
kid
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kids
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about
importance
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the importance
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of
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of it
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.
Therefore
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, youngsters can not go out
instead
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they just
staying
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stay
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abode and
watching
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watch
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TV. To add to
this
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,
this
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can alleviate their cognitive skills, concentration, interpersonal skills and so on.
Nonetheless
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, I shall not overlook the other side, too. Some
believes
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believe
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that it mostly depends on the children,
what
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and what
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kind of activity they
wants
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want
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to do. One good illustration is that
,
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apply
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some of the
child
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children
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like to do both inside and outside activities, they
also
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like to talk with new proponents;
however
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, some of them
feels
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feel
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shy to go out and
not
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do not
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like to talk with anyone as they
feels
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feel
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uncomfortable.
To conclude
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, it can be
finally
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commented that despite
behavior
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behaviour
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will mostly
depends
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depend
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on the young generation;
whereas
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, my
opinion
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opinions
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such
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as technology and
gurdians
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guardians
are responsible for destroying
childrens
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children's
children
childhoos
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childhood
childhoods
are logically acceptable.

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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. This can help improve the logical structure.
task achievement
Be sure to provide specific examples that clearly support your main points. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, summarize your main arguments briefly but clearly to reinforce your perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your main arguments.
task achievement
You identify specific factors contributing to childhood depression and antisocial behavior, demonstrating a good understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • societal pressures
  • academic demands
  • technological influences
  • parental neglect
  • family structures
  • mental health issues
  • economic inequality
  • community support
  • well-being
  • heightened awareness
  • improved diagnosis
  • advancements in mental health treatment
  • social support systems
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