IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30s, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent
years
Use synonyms
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
have
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getting
Replace the word
got
show examples
 married between 25 to 35
years
Use synonyms
 of
age
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. Few
people
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 believe that 30
years
Use synonyms
 or before is the best time to get married and it is best for both the individual and society. I totally agree with the statement that
people
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to get married before Thirty
years
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 lifestyle leads to infertility and non-communicable diseases in early adulthood.
People
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 who marry at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 have the benefit of knowing each other and exploring different activities and places together when there is no responsibility. Conception
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 are high when
people
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 are marrying
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their early
30's
Change noun form
30s
show examples
. At
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
, most couples are healthy both physically and mentally.
In addition
Linking Words
ot
Correct your spelling
to
 that, raising
a children
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
 is easy because parents have the time and energy.
For example
Linking Words
, recent studies
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that
fetal
Correct article usage
the fetal
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 conception rate is high when
people
Use synonyms
 are married between 20 to 30
years
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 of
age
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.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 healthy if
parents
Correct article usage
the parents
show examples
 are young. Marrying at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 not only benefits
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Adults are more prone to mental pressure if they are not married in their early
30's
Change noun form
30s
show examples
. Parents will be happier if they see their children married
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their early adulthood.
For instance
Linking Words
,

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task achievement
Work on providing a more balanced view in your response by acknowledging counterarguments. This will strengthen your task achievement.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but try to provide more specific examples to reinforce your points and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clearly defined conclusion that summarizes your main points, providing a strong finish to your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your points are generally well organized, work on linking them more clearly with transition words to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction that outlines your position on the topic effectively.
task achievement
Your argument discussing the connection between early marriage and health was relevant and supported by some evidence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fertility
  • Maternal health
  • Psychological stability
  • Social maturity
  • Economic benefits
  • Shared responsibilities
  • Ancestral customs
  • Cultural imperatives
  • Personal development
  • Career establishment
  • Societal norms
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Divorce rates
  • Life decisions
  • Subjective wellbeing
What to do next:
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