The growth of online shopping will one day lead to closing all shops in towns and cities. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, online shopping has transformed
at
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the retail industry and customers can
to do
Verb problem
go

There may be a verb use issue here.

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shopping from home.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some believe
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend will eventually
closure
Replace the word
close

The word closure doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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all physical shops. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

view and I think that traditional stores offer more unique benefits
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as product testing and personal advice, social experience,
online
Correct word choice
and online

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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challenges. First and foremost, physical stores provide to see, touch and try products before purchasing.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, customers prefer testing
dresses
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dress

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of dresses. Consider changing it to singular.

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size or quality before buying which is not always possible
virtual
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in virtual

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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shopping.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when people interact face-to-face, they can get some personal advice on goods.
On the contrary
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in online shopping, people have to make do with only written comments, which are often wrong.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, shopping in physical stores often
fulfill
Change the verb form
fulfills

The plural verb fulfill does not appear to agree with the singular subject shopping. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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social needs. For many citizens, going to the shopping
center
Change the spelling
centre

The spelling of center is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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,
not
Add a missing verb
is not

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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only
for
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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to buy something but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

about
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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to spend time with friends and family.
Such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

activities cannot be replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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online shopping.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, not all customers have equal access to online shopping.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, most older people and individuals without reliable internet access cannot shop from online sites. They prefer traditional shopping methods as well.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is undeniable that the rise of online shopping has impacted traditional retailers. To remain competitive, physical shops need to improve their services and they should implement the innovations happening in the world. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

online shopping will continue to grow, it is not possible they replace physical shops in towns and cities.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen the coherence by improving transitions and ensuring a smoother flow between ideas. This will help enhance the logical structure of the essay.
Task Achievement
Revise the essay for grammatical accuracy and improve the construction of sentences for a clearer presentation of ideas.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or details to robustly support the main points made about the benefits of physical shopping.
Task Achievement
The essay acknowledges multiple perspectives regarding the future of online and physical shopping.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, providing context at the beginning and a summarizing insight at the end.
Task Achievement
Emphasizes the unique benefits of physical stores such as product testing, social experiences, and personal advice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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