IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

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There are different insights between people about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern technology
while
Linking Words
 some of them think that
the
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apply
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technology these days has a good impact on the community and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them close
togather
Correct your spelling
together
in addition
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
to
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 the other side of people they think
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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 and it is in the way to split the families from each other. actually, I agree with the ones who
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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think it is good for humanity and
also
Linking Words
 the
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the highest part
in
Change preposition
of
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 it. Those who
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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believe in
Correct your spelling
positive
Correct article usage
the postive
show examples
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 effect of the new era of
Correct your spelling
technology
technolgy
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technology
 they have

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coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure for better clarity. Some sentences are too long and can be broken down.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Conclude the essay with a strong summary of your opinions and the main points discussed.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt at discussing both viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively presents the main topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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